Babana News Network

2009-09-27T02:28:00.001+08:00

2009-09-12T09:24:00.003+08:00

i think it is safe to post this here,

i was doing this writing exercise in class. free-flow writing. write whatever that comes to your mind. it doesn't have to be connected. i think i would give it a try here again. and see how far i can go.

ok, good time for my brains not to think of stuff. oh well ... lets see, what i meant by saying, i think it is safe to rant things here, cos one i think this blog is dead. no one will come here and read this, well no one i know will read this la, well at least i hope so. it is safe to say, i hate u , u idiot. i love life, this is going to be an insane post, with no connection from one sentence to another, so the brains do not work in a linear line. so i can say what i want to say, when ever i want to say it. see i told u there is no connection what so ever. dear reader, if you are still reading this, i think you should stop reading. so i really do not want to waste your time. this is just me ranting, rant , rant. but here, if u are still reading, cool, dun kill me at the end of the post, cos it will not make sense what so ever. ok, i officially, dislike who i am now. hello, i am joanna. ok not that i do not like who i am now, but i think who i am now is just one stupid dumb dumb. well so i think la, i dun know. what do u think? i have been an idiot, ok the idiot i was talking about earlier is me, hahaha i am an idiot, cos i think i expect too much. and when i do not get what i expect, i get disappointed when i get disappointed, i get moody, and when i am moody, i transformed to be a person i do not really like, hence the ui have you phrase. i am angry with myself, i keep telling myself, why am i helping the person i am helping. why am i investing my time on this person, is it cos i want something back, i sure hope not. i know God has implanted this burden on me for a reason, but at time, i cannot help but be human, and be selfish a little. i sometimes want to see if wat i am doing is producing fruits or not. i do not see anything now. and i think it is far from wat i tot it would be. sigh ... sometimes i tend to think, i think i am hearing God wrongly. maybe i am wrong. but than again, there is wrong in helping someone out, even if they are ur student. well i am not saying, that this person is not worth helping. but it would be nice if sometimes things would go the way i tot it would be. i know, His ways aren't our ways, and His ways are always the best. i guess i need to trust Him a little on this. god help me. i dont want to have this feeling of disappointment no more in me. can i just be myself again. the question is, who am i ? what should i do, dear reader, if you are still reading this, what do you think i should do ? hahaha you must be wondering, what the hell am i talking about, tell story, tell half don't tell half, how to help ... hahaha how la to tell you the whole story. i also do not know how to tell you without exposing names. the person i am talking about is still a good person. but i think this person do not know what the is going on cos i didn;t say a word. but than again, by not saying anything , that should be a hint hor. hahah oh well, sometimes signs produce cannot be read. hahaha ... depending on how good the signal is, and how well the reciever is getting the signal. it can be a good sign but if the reader cannot read and understand wat the sign signifies, then there would be a communication breakdown. hahaha man now i am bring lessons from class here. anyways, ... i am still disappointed in you, and i am disappointed with myself. time out time out time out time out, i need a break, i need to earn more money, i need more time, i need this i need that. i need a lot of things, but most of all i need to know You more. i need to trust You more. i need to really really lay everything down to You and trust that you ate in control, not by just saying it, but living it. Help me. i hate who i am now, change me. let me not have expectation. let me walk away. let me give it to you. You who make all things perfect in Your time. so now, i leave this person i am thinking about to your hands. in Your time Lord. in Your time.

2009-09-09T18:58:00.001+08:00

reached my limit, cannot do this no more ... take over please

give me grace to walk away ...

2009-05-31T02:22:00.002+08:00

am tired Lord ...

2009-05-29T08:57:00.002+08:00

Grace

is something that i need now cos i cannot do this with my own strength

2009-05-24T20:02:00.003+08:00

HIKE IN PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEM IN MALAYSIA

"We always consider the interest of operators and consumers before making a decision. How can we expect good service if the operators can't make money?” he asked.

hike of 30 % instead of 60% - 100% ... hmmm ...

okaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy ... ok ... only time will tell if there will be changes in the transport system in malaysia.

i wonder if there are changes ....

you know what, i will be very suprise if there are changes ... there maybe changes in price and all but the system, as long as it is still the same system... i doubt there will be changes ...

everybody... welcome to malaysia ...

2009-05-18T18:29:00.002+08:00

Whatever you do, honour God ...

those words are enough to put things into perspective for me. no matter what the situation we may be in, and today, is not a good day, and not a good way to start the freaking week, some people can stab u in the heart without even knowing what they are doing ... most of the time it happens when its the ppl u care about most.

this is the vulnerability of relationships and friendship ... darn it, sometimes it is easier said than done. got to put this reminder everywhere so that i will remember. but its pretty darn hard,

whatever you do, honour God ...

remember, remember, remember ....

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

whatever you do, honour God ...

remember, remember, remember ....

remember, remember, remember ....

remember, remember, remember ....

remember, remember, remember ....

they say, repetition works, i sure hope so ...

"True friendship calls for vulnerability arising out of a deep trust that will not make contingency for betrayal. There is no self-protection, only self-giving for that is the essence of fulfillment in interpersonal relationships."

thank you joycie for those words ...

what ever you do, honour God ...

2009-02-14T10:21:00.002+08:00

1 Corinthians 13

The Way of Love

¹ If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. ²If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. ^3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

^8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

will blog about this another day ...

2009-02-09T23:43:00.003+08:00

there are tons to say, tons to share

what to say and what to share i dare not say

sometimes things are better left unsaid and unshared

2009-02-02T01:03:00.003+08:00

i needed to rant ( random ramblings )

this post will make no sense what so ever, ... not that my othee post makes any sense also ... so wat ever la ... : )
i just needed to get things out of my system.

am suppose to finish writing an article but its not getting anywhere, got too much things on my head.

i have a friend leaving tmrw, and i don't think i have the chance to say goodbye face to face. i hope and i wish i could, but i dun think i can. wasn't to acting to pleasent the last time we met, was hoping to make things right. if only i could. if i could turn back time, i would. if i could make things right, i would surely try.

maybe is for the best that we didn't meet up cos i wouldn;t know wat to say and i am terrible in saying goodbyes. part of me would be happy if we didn;t meet up but another part of me would love to. aiyuh i am so confuse i also dun know wat i wan to do. maybe the part of me that wants to meet up is stronger, that is why i cannot sleep thinking of it. bummer ... argghhh .... i need my silly head to stop thinking la ...

my students tired helping me, but i dun think it worked. i hope it did not make matters worst.

so much work to do, i dun know where to start. there are tons of things i want to do but dun know where to start.

currently hooked on two songs ... eva cassidy - time is a healer , and take that circus ...

time is a healer ... hmm ... they say time heals all wounds ... am not too sure about tis. its debatable ... it depends on wat type of wound we are taking about.

my back still hurts , am trying not take painkillers again. but i dun wan wat happen the other day to happen again. arghhhh ... stupid back...,

there are tons more in my head. but i am just too lazy to type ...

free-flow writing is fun... no rules to it. just simply hentam wat u wanna say ... and wat is in ur head.

like i dun wan to go to work tmrw.

or , i wanna another hug jo, come see me kiddo , ya da , ya da , ya da ... i hope u recieve the envelope jo.

i am going to stop here, or not i will sound like a crazy women ...

nites

2009-01-18T00:32:00.002+08:00

i've got a new formula

it used to be

expectation = anticipation = hope

now

expectation = anticipation = hope = disappointment ( at times)

2009-01-06T10:00:00.004+08:00

Introducing the latest addition to the Lee clan

Joshua Lee Jie

2008-12-24T07:18:00.005+08:00

am going home ... yay ...

2008-12-23T13:36:00.003+08:00

A blessed Christmas to all ...

" ..,but the angle said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God, You will be with Child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, his kingdom will never end. ... "

i simply love Christmas ... it some how gives a warmth feeling inside that cannot be explained. its a good feeling. been walking thru shopping complexes these few days, Christmas songs playing , decoration fills the room and very body is merry-ing. i sat down , and looked at my surroundings, i wondered , where is Christ in Christmas ... ? we are celebrating a celebration without inviting the main guest ...

please la, put Christ back into Christmas ...

we see tons of santas here and there, we see raindeers, we see lovely christmas tress, we see tons of tons lights, ... we see lots of things, but we do not see the most important thing ... we do not see Christ in Christmas.

we so many things around us this season,
we see Chirstmas trees, but we do not see the cross
we see tinsel covering the trees, but we do not see the crown of thorns
we see red, yellow, green, blue, white, ya da ya da lights everywhere, but we do not see His light, and we do not see the red in His blood
we see gifts under the tree , but we do not see the gift of love
we see St Nicholas aka Santa, the giver of gitfs but we fail to see the Giver of gifts
we see tons of stuff this season, but yet we see nothing

I think we should start putting Christ back into Chirstmas

Blessed Christmas everybody ... mind u, its Chirstmas and not xmas, not happy holiday ... its Chirstmas ... : )

happy birthday Jesus

2008-11-09T19:00:00.004+08:00

i have a dream ...

i dreamt this morning

it was a good dream

i dreamt tat everything was ok

i had a dream , it was good

i had a dream but i woke up

and realise that i only had a dream

i had a dream, and its all i have

i had a dream

2008-11-02T22:02:00.008+08:00

IAA70 - COM104

the things we do in class : )

2008-10-31T16:14:00.002+08:00

billie holiday

Hush now, dont explain
Just say youll remain
Im glad your back, dont explain

Quiet, dont explain
What is there to gain
Skip that lipstick
Dont explain

You know that I love you
And what endures
All my thoughts of you
For Im so completely yours

Cry to hear folks chatter
And I know you cheat
Right or wrong, dont matter
When youre with me, sweet

Hush now, dont explain
Youre my joy and pain
My lifes yours love
Dont explain

2008-10-30T12:55:00.004+08:00

a few things about college and uni

posted this up once ... this is a new place , new students ... and its still a "yeah right ! " : )

did this once in class , i think it was for int1020 , in the audio/visual room while watching a video ... : )

2008-10-29T20:22:00.004+08:00

i need to rant ...

needed to rant, so heres to a post that will have no coherent , no logic , no flow , no what so ever ... just things that needs to be out of this silly head of mine.

i have nothing much to offer, i really don't.

i am still the stupidest, dumb dumbest idiot to ever walk this planet.

at times i wonder if my judgement of ppl is correct or not, at times i think i am correct at times i think i am so killer wrong. sigh ... i am beginning to think i am killer darn wrong ... i really wish i wasn't.

arghhhhhh ... screw it ... cannot write no more ...

bummer , bummer , bummer

i need to go to my secret place again ...

this is all i have, this is all i can give.

jsfj foisd[oif as dfo fsfd mjh daifs faodanfoaia f0=o asjfa fpifgps gakdighs dfapij fiapigj dsf[aisf pofja d[ifOJF SFJegf F[GJDg dspigdg dafjdf d[jfd fidsgdsDOGFUJFDSD GSDDFOG G][ODFP DFOIds gODSF fgidgp oDS'GODSG DogdHGOSDGJPSD0GIPDF F.

OK ... done ...

2008-10-15T17:25:00.005+08:00

a blip 2 ( this is a post that will make no sense what so ever )

at times i think too much , and at time i dun think all. at times i see things in a way ppl dun see, and i times i dun see at all. and at times i can feel so much, and at times i dun feel at all.

and at times i can feel like the stupidest, dumb dumbest idiot to ever walk this planet and at times i am just an idiot. : )

am not too sure if u notice, tat every gesture , every action u make can be interpreted into something. even if you dun say it out loud, u are already communicating something. i have a bad habit of over-thinking stuff ... but i think at tis point of time, i am pretty sure, i am thinking the right thing. i could be wrong but i am not taking my chances.

well, i guess i have to do what i think is right.

its funny how some things can change so fast, morning afternoon , night can be totally different things. and how things change in months , or how things we are in the beginning and how things are at the end...

i hate change...

at times change is good, at time change is not , and at times i just dun know wat change is ...

sigh ...

ppl with brains on their backside should be shot dead ...

sir issac newton said , every action has an equal and opposite reaction ...

2008-10-01T16:04:00.002+08:00

Goodbye , 再见 , selamat tinggal , adiós , 안녕 , さようなら, ...

good·byes or good-byes also good-bys
,
1. An acknowledgment at parting, especially by saying "goodbye."
2. An act of parting or leave-taking: many sad goodbyes.

they say, saying i am sorry is the hardest thing to do , but i beg to differ , to me saying goodbye is the hardest.

i've never been a big fan of saying goodbyes ... and its hardest if its to a loved one.
i reckon if u guys have been reading the letters below and all, u would briefly get the story and context of it all.

been looking at tis post for the longest time, thinking of wat to write and say.
i have been staring at this post and pondering on wat to write for the longest time, and i still have to no idea on wat to say and do.

so i am going to leave it blank

2008-09-23T09:24:00.001+08:00

We Have Finished Our Waiting

Dear All,

We are sorry to keep you all waiting for so many days since Sept 19. We had decided to wait till the weekend before we make our final decision. Since there is still no news of Yi Jien, we have decided to end our waiting and move on from here. We cannot fathom at this point God's purposes . . . it had seemed that all things were pointing to His bringing out Yi Jien . . but since it has not come to pass, we will move on, still continuing to trust that He is our God who loves us and that His will is always good, pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2b) even though it may not appear so at the moment. Perhaps we had misread Him . .we do not know . . but we do know that we have always experienced Him as a good and faithful God and we will continue to trust that He is all that His Word says He is.

We can never thank each of you enough for journeying with us through this very long and hard journey. We trust that through this period at least one purpose has been fulfilled . . He has drawn each of us to seek Him more and has done His own deep work of change in our lives. We know that many of you have shed many tears and gone through much pain on our behalf . . . thank you . . and we pray that He will continue to be your source of healing and comfort. It is also our prayer that each of us, both individually and in our own groups or community, will continue to follow Him in faithful trust and obedience as He leads us from here . . . may we continue to learn to live by faith and not by sight, hard though it may be.

We will be leaving for home right after we tie up some loose ends here this week.

So dear family members and friends . . His blessings of grace, peace and joy be with each of you.

Held In His love,

kim guat and siu yindecided to wait till the weekend before we make our final decision. Since there is still no news of Yi Jien, we have decided to end our waiting and move on from here. We cannot fathom at this point God's purposes . . . it had seemed that all things were pointing to His bringing out Yi Jien . . but since it has not come to pass, we will move on, still continuing to trust that He is our God who loves us and that His will is always good, pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2b) even though it may not appear so at the moment. Perhaps we had misread Him . .we do not know . . but we do know that we have always experienced Him as a good and faithful God and we will continue to trust that He is all that His Word says He is.

We can never thank each of you enough for journeying with us through this very long and hard journey. We trust that through this period at least one purpose has been fulfilled . . He has drawn each of us to seek Him more and has done His own deep work of change in our lives. We know that many of you have shed many tears and gone through much pain on our behalf . . . thank you . . and we pray that He will continue to be your source of healing and comfort. It is also our prayer that each of us, both individually and in our own groups or community, will continue to follow Him in faithful trust and obedience as He leads us from here . . . may we continue to learn to live by faith and not by sight, hard though it may be.

We will be leaving for home right after we tie up some loose ends here this week.

So dear family members and friends . . His blessings of grace, peace and joy be with each of you.

Held In His love,

kim guat and siu yin

2008-09-16T13:20:00.001+08:00

Dear All,

This will probably be our last update till after the 40th day, which is the day we have set as our last day of waiting upon the Lord. As we enter this last period of waiting, Siu Yin and I have felt the Lord preparing and keeping our hearts in His peace, His love and the hope He has given us. Each time when in our own frailty, we allow niggling questions and doubts to unsettle us, we come back to the Lord, to seek Him, to worship Him and to be strengthened in Him . . . and He never fails to comfort, assure and to make ". . . my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights . . . broadens the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turnover (Psalm 18:33, 36)." We discover again that He is all that His Word testifies to, and far larger than our hopes and desires.

We would like to share with you where we are now in this last stretch.

From Siu Yin:

Some of you may think I must be very anxious at this very last part of the waiting journey. However my heart is still with hope, for God graciously walks with me everyday with His Word full of love and mercy. Today I read Psalm 109 and I started praying for Yi-Jien through the Scriptures: Psalm 109:21 - 31 21 But you, O LORD Yi-Jien's Lord, act on Yi-Jien's behalf for your name's sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver Yi-Jien. 22 For Yi-Jien is poor and needy, and Yi-Jien's heart is pierced within him. 23 Yi-Jien is gone like a shadow at evening; Yi-Jien is shaken off like a locust. 2425 Yi-Jien is an object of scorn to his accusers; when they see Yi-Jien, they shake their heads. 26 Help Yi-Jien, O LORD my God! Save Yi-Jien according to your steadfast love. 27 Let them know that this is your hand; you, O LORD, have done it. 28 Let them curse, but you will bless. Let Yi-Jien's assailants be put to shame;1 may your servant Yi-Jien be glad. 29 May Yi-Jien's accusers be clothed with dishonor; may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a mantle. 30 With Yi-Jien's mouth he will give great thanks to the LORD; Yi-Jien will praise him in the midst of the throng. 31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save them from those who would condemn them to death. Yi-Jien's knees are weak through fasting; Yi-Jien's body has become gaunt.

The strong sense of Yi-Jien still alive and seeing him is deep down in my heart. I then reread my journal I wrote last few days showing my struggle of doubting and praying for God's help to transform my doubt into trust. I have been pondering John 14:12-14 12 Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If in my name you ask me1 for anything, I will do it. And it does strengthen my belief that God has heard our cry to deliver Yi-Jien, yet it does not change my open ended hope – God can deliver Yi-Jien but God may not do it. Then I felt the paradox in my belief that I believe Yi-Jien is alive, yet I accept that God may not deliver him at the end. What kind of belief is this? During this struggling, I received emails mentioning Mark 11:23-24 23 Truly I tell you, if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and if you do not doubt in your heart, but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you. 24 So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. God helps me to break through my open ended hope, for I have to believe that I have received what I pray for – deliver Yi-Jien, O Lord and this is what I should believe until the end of waiting. I believe I am going to see Yi-Jien in this week. I feel joy in my heart and understand John 16:24b. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. I don't want to ask "if" anymore and I just believe the promise is coming and my joy shall be complete when it comes. I don't think too far ahead and just look forward to seeing Yi-Jien and trust God will help me to go through what is next. This is what I think I should believe. Jesus reminds us "Do not doubt but believe"

For me, the journey was about trying to discern and follow God in what He was doing in and through this whole incident. Right from the very start, I had already surrendered the outcome to Him regardless, trusting that His will is always the best for our lives. As the journey progressed, it seemed that God was pointing me to a specific hope that Yi Jien is alive and He would deliver him . . . then leading from that to the fact that He is the Almighty God who wants (not just can) to do what is the impossible for His larger purposes. Dare I believe that? It was no longer about Yi Jien anymore (although the two things are linked) but it was about whether I would be willing to take that step of faith (if I had discerned Him correctly) to believe that He is still the same God who did mighty acts on behalf of our forefathers in the Bible.
I took that step with fear and trepidation, knowing that I could be wrong, but I chose to accept His invitation to believe . . and that is still where I am now as I enter this last stretch . . . trusting that it is all about our God who wants to bring glory to Himself in a mighty way. It is faith yet tinged with the human fear of 'what if i am wrong?' Again and again through my daily readings these past three days (Psalms 3-6 and Isaiah 60-66) and emails which some of you sent, God continued to gently encourage. In Isaiah 66:9 (my reading today), God's word to the Israelites was, "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery? Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?" I am challenged again to hold fast to God's promise till the end.

However, in God's larger scheme of things, what began as a personal crisis, has unfolded into a jouney of faith that went beyond our family and involved all of you. We wish we could include in detail all the encouraging testimonies which so many of you have written to share about what God has been doing in your personal lives, in your families and across churches. Many of you have said that ultimately it is the process of the journey, not the final outcome that is important to you . . that you have come to a place where you will still praise and thank God regardless because you have come to taste of His greatness, love and mercy throughout this journey.

Therefore, one of the main reasons for not continuing with our updates is to allow you to continue in your own journey of faith with God. We have always, throughout this journey, tried to point you to God because ultimately, it is not about us but about Him, and all that He wants to do in each of our lives and beyond. So we think it is fitting at this last stretch, that we all come before Him to seek Him ourselves and hear from Him what or how He wants us to pray. We trust that His Spirit will so lead us that beyond the physical realm, there will be that stream of prayers rising in unity as incense before the Father's presence, a chorus of praise, thanksgiving and petition. And we 'move aside' and let God accomplish His purposes.

So thank you all again for journeying so tenaciously and so far with us . . . may this journey end in glorious praise and glory to Him, our Almighty Triune God, Father, Son and Spirit.

Your very grateful and much privileged fellow sojourners in faith,

kim guat and siu yin

p.s. You are all still welcome to write to us . . we appreciate greatly all the emails that we have received.

p.p.s. Just to clarify about the 40 days . . the number '40' does not have to refer to a precise figure although it can; it can also refer to a period of time where God accomplishes His purposes, of testing, trial, etc., which ends with a period of restoration or renewal . . . you can look this up yourself :-) God bless!

2008-09-13T10:15:00.001+08:00

Dear All,

Even after such a long hard journey, there are still so many of you who have written to say that you are still waiting with us and praying with us, and for that we will always be grateful. We are just so overwhelmed and humbled by your love for us and your determination to pray that God will return Yi Jien to us . . no words can adequately express the deep thankfulness we feel towards each of you.

I am sure the question of how long we are to wait has crossed your minds . . before Siu Yin flew to Montana, she had told the Lord that she would wait for as long as 40 days. Some of you have also shared with us a similar 'conviction' . . after pondering and praying over this, we have set this as our last day of waiting. May the Lord forgive us if we are using our rational minds to limit Him . . . but we believe it is not fair to all of you to drag out the period of waiting indefinitely; besides the number '40' has a special significance in the Bible as we all know. Unless the Lord shows any of us differently, we will trust and pray that He will have accomplished His purposes by then.

Today (Thurs) was a hard day because I allowed myself to be distracted from my focus on God. As I thought about the weariness that some of you are experiencing, the question in many minds of whether I am just clinging on to an empty hope, that we should be bringing a closure to this already, the thought of appearing 'foolish' in believing in a miracle that seems less and less likely now . . . my heart grew anxious as the enormity of the whole situation struck me again. I had in faith believed as the journey progressed that the Lord was holding out that promise to us that He will deliver Yi Jien, and I had held onto that . . . had I misread His leading?

I learn again that I had to bring my focus back to Him. As I sought Him again, everywhere I turned to, be it in His Word or through the songs that I turned to in worship of Him, or in the quietness of my heart, He seemed to be saying the same thing - to hold on and that His salvation is near. In my regular readings of Isaiah 56 and 57, 56:1-2 speaks of that. I turned to Hebrews 10 - 11 to read about faith and 10:37-38 talks about the same thing. And at the end of the day, I found God drawing me into His love. I did not 'feel' His love (I am not a 'feeler' like Siu Yin :-)) but I knew it in my heart and mind that Jesus was looking at me in love, a love that I had yet to comprehend in all its vastness and depthlessness, but a love that is still embracing me nonetheless. I was reminded again of how faithful He has always been to me . . and therefore I can firmly trust that He will continue always to be faithful to the end.

And so having drawn my strength and confidence from Him again, there is only one way for me to go . .to choose to keep my eyes fully on Him and trust Him . . and to hold on in faith to what I believe He has been showing me and the larger community of faith throughout this whole journey. His Word reminded me again that without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6) . . an eternal truth attested to by the lives of faith of the great cloud of witnesses who surround us (Hebrews 12:1) . . a truth I am called to live out in my life as well.

A dear friend sent me this beautiful modern hymn yesterday Speak O Lord (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsQ-gMkOSok). It resonated so deeply within me, capturing so many of my feelings and thoughts, that I offered it as the prayer of Siu Yin and my heart to God.

Speak O Lord as we come to You
To receive the food of Your holy Word
Take Your truth plant it deep in us
Shape and fashion us in Your likeness
That the light of Christ might be seen today
In our acts of love and our deeds of faith
Speak O Lord and fulfil in us
All Your purposes for Your glory

Teach us Lord full obedience
Holy reverence true humility
Test our thoughts and our attitudes
In the radiance of Your purity
Cause our faith to rise, cause our eyes to see
Your majestic love and authority
Words of power that can never fail
Let their truth prevail over unbelief

Speak O Lord and renew our minds
Help us grasp the heights of Your plans for us
Truth unchanged from the dawn of time
That willl echo down through eternity
And by grace we'll stand on Your promises
And by faith we'll walk as You walk with us
Speak O Lord till Your church is built
And the earth is filled with Your glory

May each of you find comfort and strength in His unfailing Word and love as you walk by faith your own personal journey with Him, knowing that He walks with you . . to the end that His church be built and the earth be filled with His glory.

In His unfailing and unchanging love,

kim guat and siu yin

p.s. my apologies for this very long email . . I had thought that there would not be much to say in this waiting period which is why I have put two days' updates into one . . definitely signs of getting more verbose in my old age :-) God bless!

2008-09-11T17:18:00.001+08:00

Writing to Us
Thursday, September 11, 2008 2:29 AM
From: "kimguat goh"

-----Inline Attachment Follows-----

Dear All,

I was told that many of you wanted to write but were afraid that you would be intruding into our space and grief or that we would be inundated with too many emails . . please don't ever feel that . . we are very encouraged when you write, even if you do not know what to say . . it is not the words that are important to us, but the fact that you care enough to pray for us and support us through this time. . and to want to write.

So do feel free to write anytime . . thank you again for all your love and concern.

Love

kim guat and siu yin

On Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 1:32 AM, kimguat goh wrote:

Dear All,

My apologies for being late in getting this out. I have been sitting and waiting upon the Lord, pondering in my heart as to what the Lord might want me to write.

As I have shared before, we have now entered a period of waiting . . it is a waiting upon Him, to seek Him and to allow Him to continue to teach us, mould and refine us as we try to process what He is doing through all this . . . and a waiting for Him to fulfil His promise regarding Yi Jien when His time is complete. So both Siu Yin and I have settled down, guarded in our hearts by His peace, to wait and learn His precious lessons . . . .

Waiting is one of them . . . Waiting is not always easy because you want the end to come and yet you do not know when it will come. When God says 'Soon' or 'it is coming', we learn again that His timing is not the same as our timing. We learn not to fret, not to ask that question always so dear to our hearts of 'Why' . . . but instead we have learned to accept this waiting as part of His larger purposes, a gift from Him to draw us closer to seek Him, and to learn from Him and about Him . . . and every day He continues to surprise us with His unfailing love. This phrase 'unfailing love' has stayed in my heart for a few days, from Psalm 147:11. Siu Yin has been encountering that unfailing love in her experience with God . . . I am processing that in my thoughts and allowing it to sink into my heart (you can see how very different we both are in how we relate to God and how He relates to us :-))

The importance of community and friends is another . . . we may all never fully realise the eternal signifcance of what has happened or is happening when through one single incident, God has drawn so many people together (probably in the thousands now), crossing the boundaries of age, race, gender, country and even religion . . and (for those who know Him), to pray in unity of heart, mind and purpose, not just that Yi Jien be delivered from death but also that His name be ultimately glorified. We leave that in His hands even as we continue to pray as He leads.

On a human level though, the prayer and emotional support and encouragement from this very extended community of faith has really kept us in faith, strength, peace and quiet joy. We would never have come to where we are without you all, and we really mean that.

Secondly, having good friends who journey with you, even if it is just one or two, helping you discern together what God is doing and process what you are going through, is very precious. Siu Yin and I are blessed not only to have one another to journey together but also a few good friends who are always there for us. May we all learn to be that kind of friend to one another, willing to walk alongside one another for as long as it takes, not necessarily always knowing what to say but being open to learn from His Spirit as we journey together. And may we also learn, where we are, to form and become that kind of loving community in Christ for one another . . . and for the many in this world who are looking for that kind of love, acceptance, and healing. To that end, we need each of us to allow the Lord to 'bend me, break me, mould me and use me.'

And so in the words of Spafford's hymn, it is still 'well with our souls.' God continues to encourage us through our daily times in His Word . . in the psalms (which many of you are also still encouraging us with) and for me in Isaiah 54 and 55.

May I leave us again with a song, this one sent to us yesterday from a young friend of Yi Jien. In her words, ". . . it felt like a gift . . . because it dwarfed my petty little discomforts so overwhelmingly, and because it was simply so beautiful in its truths."

This hymn was known as the love song of the 1904 Wesh revival. I am including the lyrics as well because the youtube version does not have the complete hymn.

(singer prefaces for about a minute before singing in English): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APrUPPC8bFY&feature=related

Here is love, vast as the ocean,
Lovingkindness as the flood,
When the Prince of Life, our Ransom,
Shed for us His precious blood.
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?
He can never be forgotten,
Throughout Heav'n's eternal days.

On the mount of crucifixion,
Fountains opened deep and wide;
Through the floodgates of God's mercy
Flowed a vast and gracious tide.
Grace and love, like mighty rivers,
Poured incessant from above,
And Heav'n's peace and perfect justice
Kissed a guilty world in love.

Let me all Thy love accepting,
Love Thee, ever all my days;
Let me seek Thy kingdom only
And my life be to Thy praise;
Thou alone shalt be my glory,
Nothing in the world I see.
Thou hast cleansed and sanctified me,
Thou Thyself hast set me free.

In Thy truth Thou dost direct me
By Thy Spirit through Thy Word;
And Thy grace my need is meeting,
As I trust in Thee, my Lord.
Of Thy fullness Thou art pouring
Thy great love and power on me,
Without measure, full and boundless,
Drawing out my heart to Thee.

At the end of it all, it is really all about God and His amazing love for us, isn't it . . to Him be all praise and glory forevermore.

His shalom, love and hope be with each of us,

Love

kim guat and siu yin

2008-09-11T17:14:00.000+08:00

Siu Yin's Journey
Thursday, September 11, 2008 1:04 PM
From: "kimguat goh"

Dear All,

This is from Siu Yin . .

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

Thanks so much to journey with me this far. I haven't written for a while since last email I mentioned that I chose to sing praises to the Lord even though the active search had stopped. God did not stop working on me right there. Instead God leads me like a good Shepherd leading His sheep going through troubles, pains, sorrows, frustration, and disappointment etc. It takes me a while to process what happened in the last week and now I would like to share more what great work God has done in my life here in a motel in Kalispell, MT.

The first two weeks of waiting here was like a storm to me. Everyday I looked forward to hearing good news after the search, but it did not come and I got disappointed. My emotion went up and down like a roller coaster depending on the search. Everyday I cried to the Lord and begged for His mercy to us. I was so tensed that I did not want to eat, I could not sleep well, and I could not sit and pray still. God is good to remind me that my purpose of living is to worship Him (let everything that breathes praise the Lord! Psalm 150:6) and I chose to sing praises to the Lord even though thing did not seem work out the way I wanted. I wanted to declare to the Lord – He is still King of kings and Lord of lords, God is God. Through singing to the Lord, my life changed and my spiritual darkness of all the negative thoughts and feelings such as frustration, disappointment, confusion etc, were broken by the light of God. I felt the light of God shined on me and I don't get disappointed so easy, my frustration is reducing and my pain and sorrow are replaced by the love of God in His very presence. It is because my focus to look for Yi-Jien has shifted to God centered praise and worship. When my eyes turned back to God's love, my pain is so little.

This step of choosing to praise the Lord became the start of my second phrase of journey – journey with God closely. I did not only start singing praises to the Lord, I sang to the Lord to help me to be surrendered by Him. Thus I sang, "All to Jesus I surrender" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x2IpLSfqp8

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all;
All to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

and prayed to the Lord to show me His ways and teach me His paths and lead me in His truth. I told the Lord, "I am willing to trust and obey." Yet my heart and my mind still could not quiet down and I still had lots of questions I wanted the Lord to answer me and my desire to see Yi-Jien was so strong that I could not stop thinking of him. I prayed very hard to the Lord singing "STILL – Hillsong" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgob5afanUg&feature=related

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

My heart changed from disquieted to still and know that HE IS GOD. This song leads me to experience God's goodness that He took me out of the storm and showed me that Jesus is my light when I was in the darkness and shined on me to know that He is my good Shepherd. Thus I was no longer in the storm and the word "good Shepherd" became my focus in my prayer that I saw myself guiding by a Shepherd lying down on a pasture. Though I was very down, eyes filled with tears waiting, I was with the Shepherd and the Shepherd was with me. I also saw my mother in law right next to me with the Shepherd. My soul and my heart were calm and quiet. From that day on my emotion did not go up and down but resting with the Shepherd in silence even though I was confused. God started revealing me His steadfast love through His presence. When I need an encouragement, God gives it to me. When I need a comfort, He comforts me with His Word. When I need rest, He gives me rest. He shows me His love through you all that I am not walking alone in this crisis. I cannot even count how many emails I have received from you, how many of them warm my heart and how many of them encourage me when the time I need, and how many of them shows me how great is our God. This community of faith is much larger than I can imagine. Some of you in this community of faith I have never met but praying and walking with us…how amazing God's work in our lives bringing us together because of the hope He has given to us. How Great is HIS Love!

Though my eyes was filled with tears the first day (my heart was heavy and my soul was weary), the second day I started thinking about Yi-Jien as a lost sheep waiting for Jesus – the good Shepherd to carry him back on His shoulder. This picture gave me hope and I started to wait more patiently to the Lord for His work to bring Yi-Jien back. I started to sing "Mighty to save - God is able to move the mountains and He is mighty to save" to encourage myself to trust and believe…this lightened my heart so much I felt the joy in the Lord. Though I did not know when the time will come and somehow still wondering if this would come true or not (my belief is waving)…God gave me the word "wait upon the Lord" and I sang, "Everlasting God". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhMdWjL2kiU&feature=related

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

I felt God wanted me to be silent and wait, for He promised to those who wait for him shall not be put to shame, so I was waiting and waiting for couple days with great hope…singing His amazing love to us. This waiting experience was very precious to me because I was willing to let go whatever outcome, then my heart and my soul were satisfied in the presence of the Lord. My waiting with trust and obey made my heart feel very light. In this waiting period, I tasted God's faithfulness and His promises that He would help me to go through this when I wait for the Lord. Though we did not have exciting conversation or great joy in my heart or lots of interaction between me and God, my heart was calm and quiet with peace. Yet this calm and quiet period did not stay long, my desire to see Yi-Jien overwhelmed me that I started asking God the same questions again…WHY?....HOW LONG?....WHEN?...(my focus of God has shifted back to look for Yi-Jien and my faith waved again) My mind could not stop thinking as so many of you got visions, dreams and insights that Yi-Jien is still alive and why didn't God give me one so I can be sure since I am his wife. In fact I got two pictures about three sheep (Yi-Jien, me and my mother in law) happy reunion, yet I wondered if it was my own desire and I asked God, but God never answered me clearly. I told God I did not dare to hope for anything it was only my desire; I only wanted His will. Yet my heart and my mind could not reconcile and I could not stop thinking and my heart has no peace. Finally I was exhausted with this struggling and I came to the point I felt so tired last few days, my mind, my soul, my heart and my body. Thank God for His love and let me rest in Him. Whenever I started praying, God put me to sleep and I did not just sleep few minutes, I slept hours and hours : ) Thus I slept a lot last few days without doing much and thinking much but just rested in God's love and enjoyed His presence. Yesterday God gave me His word on

Psalm 131:1-3

O LORD, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.

O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time on and forevermore.

I fully identified myself with David and my soul has been calmed and quieted like a weaned child resting in the mother. Yet the most strike me is the last verse, "O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time on and forevermore." I kept pondering the word "hope". Lord, what do you mean hope from this time on. I actually did not dare to hope for my desire – Yi-Jien is alive as God's will. Yet there are so many of you showing me he is still alive. I asked God if this is the hope you wanted me to hold on; is this the hope my community of faith showing me I should believe and wait? I shared this with my mother in law and she helped me to go through that our Father's love is so great that it is possible God's will can also be my desire. Of course when she said this because God has been leading us this way to believe Yi-Jien is still alive through the community of faith and His Word. Yet I still could not accept that God did not speak to me directly. Thus today I went out to a lake and quieted myself in front of God and asked Him again. God this time did speak to me…I asked God why this happened to Yi-Jien, the verse in Jeremiah came to me, "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." Then I asked again if I should take the community of faith's visions, dreams and insights to believe that Yi-Jien is alive. God said to me, "Do not doubt but believe." I asked God is it You, God said "I Am who I Am." I started sing praises to the Lord and wanted to go home and write to you all about this. Yet when I came home, my heart started doubting again and I did not dare to write this for I am afraid if Yi-Jien never comes out, then I would be a fool. My shame and fear and pride all mix together that I stopped writing until I had a long talk with my mother in law this evening that faith is easy when it is in general belief like I believe the hope that Jesus will come again. But faith becomes more difficult when we believe specific thing like this Yi-Jien is alive. At the same time I still not satisfied that God did not speak to me directly – it reflects my pride not to rely on other brothers and sisters in Christ who also love God, also pray to God fervently for Yi-Jien who received God's visions and dreams and insights.

Lord, forgive me that I only want my own confirmation from you because of my pride, forgive me that I do not trust my brothers and sisters in Christ to help me to walk through this together, forgive my unbelief and help me to continue to walk not only with you but with the whole community of faith. Thanks for teaching me the love of community and walk together with trust. Praise You, O LORD! Let Your Name be gloried and honored through this crisis. Let many will be blessed richly by your gracious love and mercy. Draw us closer to you and offer all our hearts, our minds and our souls to love you, Lord.

Love,

Siu Yin

2008-09-09T21:59:00.000+08:00

Dear All,

Thank you all so very much for still staying with us . . so many of you are still writing to us, continuing to encourage us, and to assure us of your support and prayers. We are really eternally grateful. One of the things that has become so apparent to us is that your prayers did not only sustain us in His peace and grace but somehow, they have, together with your encouragment, carried us to where we are now in our journey of faith.

We went to bed last night (our Sunday night) with a lightness of spirit, after having talked, shared and helped each other process through what is God teaching us . . as if our hearts were just wrapped tightly in a blanket of peace that could only come from Him. It is most incredible that at this stage when we should be more anxious and find the journey getting tougher with each passing day, we are discovering that the journey is getting increasingly more filled with peace . . . the calm after the storm.

The words of the old hymn that as we 'turn and keep our eyes upon Jesus . . the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace' describe what is happening to us. Not that we are unconcerned about Yi Jien anymore, but thinking about where and how he is no longer causes distress or anxiety. Siu Yin is at a place of resting in and experiencing God's love . . . my 'tight rope' has become a firm ground from where I can sit and 'lift up my eyes to the hills (Psalm 121).' So we continue to wait, taking one day at a time, and allowing Him to show us His ways and guide us by His truth (Psalm 25:4) . . . no longer really anxious about why it is taking so long (most of the time :-)) but willing to wait for the completion of His time when He will bring to pass all that He has promised.

Our wonderful God still continues to encourage in many ways and through many people . . and even in my daily readings. Isaiah 52 rings again with His promise of the redemption of His people in the sight of all the nations . . . Isaiah 53 speaks of the sufferings of Jesus, sufferings which were in accordance with God's will, but that would lead to the blessing of many. Some of you have shared with us that you sensed God is doing something far greater than what we can humanly see with our eyes, beyond what is happening to Yi Jien . . so let us continue to wait and seek His face, and pray as He leads us . . this perhaps is the next phase of our journey of faith together . . seeking His larger purposes and letting Him use us whom He has called, to pray that they will be fulfilled.

May I leave us with a song, Bring the Rain by MercyMe (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU&feature=related) sent by another young friend this morning. I was much challenged by James 1:12, written on the first slide of the video:

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has stood the test,
he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (James 1:12)

and the last verse of the song:

I am Yours regardless of
the clouds that may loom above
because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
suffering Your destiny
so tell me what's a little rain

Your fellow sojourners in this journey of faith,

kim guat and siu yin

2008-09-08T00:06:00.002+08:00

2008-09-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

Dear All,

'Praise the Lord, O my soul
I will praise the Lord all my life
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live
Do not put your trust in princes
in mortal men who cannot save
When their spirit departs, they return to the ground
on that very day their plans come to nothing
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob
whose hope is in the Lord his God
the Maker of heaven and earth
the sea and everything in them
the Lord who remains faithful forever' Psalm 146:2-6

My reading for Saturday morning was in this psalm. . the second reading was Isaiah 51, God's wonderful promise of salvation to His people Israel, which was not yet in sight but which God would, in His time, bring to pass. When particularly struck me was God asking His people to look back to Abraham and Sarah, His people of faith, as a reminder of His faithfulness. I turned again to Romans 4 . . it is all about Abraham who, against all hope believed in God's promise (not vain hope that he simply clung to out of his own need, but the promise God had given to him) and was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God.

We are nowhere near Abraham (!) . . our hope is tinged with awe (wow God, who are we that You would want to do this?) and fearful trepidation (really God, You want to do this for us? . . we know You can but to do it . . .? ) But when our God keeps encouraging and affirming, there is actually only one path to take . . be obedient and follow where He leads faithfully, even when it goes beyond our understanding, 'dig in our heels' and trust, remembering and praising Him like David that blessed is he whose hope is in the Lord his God, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Many keep thinking we are so strong in our faith . . it is not so much that we are strong in and of ourselves . . but it is the marvellous mysterious grace of God which is sustaining us and giving us faith and hope . . using your continual prayers and your wonderful encouragment, and our reading and meditating on His Word and His gift of music and song to feed and nourish our souls.

What has been most humbling and amazing is how God has been using young people to encourage us . . even at this very long last stretch . . One young friend wrote . . . I have not asked for her permission because I just received her email a few minutes ago (I don't think she will mind) but I just want to quote what she wrote in her journal and let her words speak in all its eloquence and faith (she's 19 years old) . .

You know, something bigger than finding Yi Jien has come out of all this. All of us have cried out to God. Sought His face, understood God's heart a little better and experienced God's love and peace. We've learnt to be patient, to surrender the things that we hold to our chests the tightest and in doing so set ourselves free to breathe.

God I am in awe, and I find it amazing and slightly ironic that from the beginning, Yi Jien, until the end has been Your vessel. And I praise you with all my heart for that. You have used Him so mightily and been so gentle throughout. He has been that grain of wheat that has fallen to the ground and died (metaphorically) for Your kingdom. I still believe that You have things under control, that Yi Jien is safe in your hands, that even right now He's being loved and ministered to by you be it heaven or earth. And I cannot help or stop giving thanks and praise. But for some reason I still believe that Yi Jien is alive, my heart is not moved by the odds against what it believes in.

But it doesn't matter. Being right or wrong. Really. It's capturing God's heart and pursuing relentlessly. To run the ways of His commandments and find Him there. How I love that.

On runningtherace, I think that this leg of the race was an optional one to run, but all of us have been blessed by taking on this leg. The race is far from over, but I think God's name has and is continued to be glorified.

The highlight is mine . . . such amazing insight and wisdom from one so young!

For those of you who love songs, may I leave you with this song Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw) sent by another young girl yesterday. The storm is still there but our praises are ringing louder and our hope emerging stronger because as so eloquently written by my dear young friend, we are 'capturing God's heart and pursuing relentlessly' and know we will 'find Him there.'

The love and grace of the Father, Son and Spirit be with each of us in His glorious abundance

kim guat and siu yin

2008-09-07T09:23:00.001+08:00

Dear All,

We have not yet received the phone call that we have been waiting for . . . and so we will have to wait for another day. Today, however, the Lord has so kept our hearts in His peace and love that there was no sense of disappointment when we reached the end of the day.

As Siu Yin meditated on Psalm 25:4-5, desiring that God will teach and guide her in His truth as she waits on Him, she felt His peace and love embracing her throughout the day. And she felt a stronger sense of hope . . . My reading in Isaiah 50 sealed my hope and trust in Him as I "set my face like flint, and know that I will not be put to shame" (v. 7). God had tenderly and lovingly led us to that place today where we were able to ride smoothly over a day where no end was yet in sight.

I do not need to write much more at this point . . . all our eyes should be on Him now as we await Him to fulfil His purposes and reveal Himself as the Almighty God, the God before whom nothing is impossible.

And so let us continue to worship Him and prayerfully wait in trust . . .

Thank you again for journeying with us this far. We are eternally grateful for your love and support. May you know His peace, love and hope in joyful abundance each day.

Love,

kim guat and siu yin

2008-09-06T14:57:00.000+08:00

Dear All,

It is during times like these in particular that the truth of what it means to belong to the family of Christ becomes startlingly real and life-giving. No more walls and institutional forms but just people . . . connected in faith and hope and love. So thank you dear friends in Christ for continuing to uphold us in your prayers, and many of you for writing such heart-warming emails of faith and encouragment.

As I look at what has been happening throughout this whole journey, I believe the first part of the journey was a natural response of our human need where we continuallly cry to the Lord and ask Him to answer our prayers. It was, humanly speaking, a long journey of walking in a dark valley even though we knew that He was right there with us. The journey could have ended as we walked out of the valley, which I believe we have (thanks to all of you who have prayed and fasted so long and so hard), but God has other things to teach us.

And so He has brought us to the next part of learning to wait in trust. He is teaching us to praise and thank Him even when the end is not yet in sight . . . He is teaching us the precious lesson of disciplining ourselves to still our souls and wait in quiet confidence and trust . . especially when the promised end is not yet in sight and the situation has gone beyond space, time and reason . . . I believe that is His desire for all of us through this whole journey, to be able to come to that place of loving and trusting Him in childlike confidence even when everything else is 'shouting' and pointing otherwise.

When the day ended without news yet of Yi Jien, we had to come back to this place of quiet trust and wait . . the disappointment turned again to hope as we looked again and remember how God has never ceased to encourage us every single day and to trust that He is faithful. My readings that morning were in Psalm 144 and 145, and Isaiah 46-49. Isaiah 49 especially encouraged me but it is verse 26b that stirred my heart . . 'then all mankind will know that I, the Lord, am your Saviour, your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob.'

Therefore for me now, it seems that it even goes beyond experiencing God as our heavenly Father . . it is coming face-to-face with and experiencing Him as the great Creator God, the Mighty Saviour and Redeemer . . it is no longer about us but about Him . . May nothing detract from His glory as He exalts His Name and His Word.

May I leave again the song Like Eagles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNvgTPiUsdM) with us . . I woke up this morning and the phrase from this song just popped into my heart and mind "Patiently I'll wait." I was much humbled in my 'unstill soul'. . . and could only praise and thank Him again.

His peace and joy be with each of you . . . thank you again . . and to God be the glory!

Held by the Hand of God,

kim guat and siu yin

2008-09-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

Dear All,

It gets harder and harder to write my updates not so much because we have given up hope or our waiting upon the Lord. It is more because I need His wisdom and grace to know what He wants to say that will encourage each of you on in your personal journey with Him as you have persevered so long and hard with us through this difficult time.

For Siu Yin and myself, where we are at now is a quieter spirit of rest and waiting upon Him, learning to trust Him as our Father who loves us so much that He will never play with our fragile emotions . . . I know many of us are thinking that we might be just holding on in vain hope because it has been too long, and rationally speaking, I do agree. But somehow, God does not seem to be leading us to that closure. Siu Yin and I have already surrendered Yi Jien to the Lord much earlier, willingly to accept that he is dead and move on . . . but God seems to keep saying to wait and trust Him and He will save him. We could be discerning Him completely wrong, and if we do, then the onus of responsibility is mine, not the Lord's. That is actually my greatest fear, not whether Yi Jien is alive or not, but that I do not lead you all down the wrong path of false hope that comes from me and then cause each of you to stumble, and God's name to be dishonoured. So I am writing this with 'fear and trepidation' . . .

But I do believe that God has a larger purpose far beyond what we can 'know' with our physical senses . . and one is it is not just about your journey with us, but also your own journey with the Lord and all the 'marvellous deep things' He is forming and wants to hone in each of your life . . . some of which we might recognise now but others of which we will only see in the days to come, bearing much fruit to His glory.

Let me now just share with you what is happening with us.

In times like these, the Word of God becomes life for us . . . we learn to trust Him speaking through it because like Him, His Word never changes, and if we don't believe that, then we have nothing to hold onto. Before I slept last night, asking again for His assurance, I had two passages sent to me by two separate people: Psalm 30, and 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. 2 Corinthians reminded me again to fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. Psalm 30 talks about God delivering David from death. I was reminded of Psalm 16, one of my favourite psalms, and again it talks about deliverance from death. Already in the morning, my regular readings in the psalms was Psalm 143, with David asking God to hear his cries for mercy and to deliver him from death.

So again and again, God seems to encourage us to trust and hope, every day with enough mercies for the day. There are many more things that He has done to assure us . . and it is in looking and praying through all this, not just one thing but many, that we are still believing that He is holding out that hope to us . . and inviting us to rest in Him and wait. Siu Yin's word for today is 'shepherd' - and she is meditating on that and trusting in the Good shepherd to lead and guide her and Yi Jien.

We really really cannot humanly fathom what is happening and will happen, but we want to come to Him in simple faith, like children to a father, and place everything in His hands, including our desires, and say "Papa, You do it. We trust You." And that is what we have just told Him again this morning, that Papa, our desire is that You bring out Yi Jien alive . . and we leave that in His hands . . . and we thank Him and worship Him as we wait till He tells us otherwise.

May I leave us with this song 'I Will Sing' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUAz6HgNfnM&feature=related) and may the Lord minister to each of us through it.

Thank you again so very much . . may each of you know the blessing of the Father who loves us, Jesus our Friend and Saviour, and the Holy Spirit, our Comforter.

Love and hugs for all your love for us :-)

kim guat and siu yin

2008-09-03T22:08:00.001+08:00

update : 2nd sept 2008

Dear All,

It seems like many of you have received the latest news about the rangers' decision even my update! The wonders of the internet and in our situation, a real blessing because we can all be so quickly and closely connected.

Yes, they have decided that after so many days of active search and at their lowest estimate, close to 2500 man-hours of energy expended, they will not do anymore active search from Wed onwards. This means the case is still open, flyers are still out but they will not send out teams anymore though all the park staff are still aware of the case and will keep their eyes out in the course of their normal duties or for any clues which other hikers might alert them to. They told us that they have covered at least between 80-90% of the high probability areas, higher than the normal 60+%. We do believe they have tried their very best and we have thanked them for it.

So now again we have no other recourse but to look to our God again. Like what one of our friends wrote, it has been a roller coaster ride, a journey of faith challenged and faith reaffirmed, especially each evening when we end the day without Yi Jien being found as yet. My picture of my own journey is like that of walking on a tight rope (not a very thin one though :-)) with darkness all around and the only way to keep my footing sure is not to look to the left or right or down (if I start peering down, it gets scary, the darkness is full of fear and pain and hopelessness . . . and so I don't look down, not because I am so strong but for self-preservation :-)) but to keep looking straight - at God; the same picture of Peter walking on the water only if he keeps his eyes on Jesus and not on the swirling waters around.

Even after this last piece of news (and incidentally the weather was good yesterday, and humanly speaking again, just right for rescue) when I think maybe we have heard God wrong, He keeps encouraging, gently yet lovingly to trust and wait. Before I slept last night, I was googling for one song but somehow another song appeared - God Will Make a Way (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hOjYR8UZT8&feature=related)

. And this morning again, He gives the song that had been such an encouragment before we met with the rangers yesterday ; Like Eagles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNvgTPiUsdM

He seems still to be saying . . trust and wait . . and so we will do that because we know that He is our God who is faithful and worthy of our trust. His ways may just seem out of this world and beyond our wisest understanding, but let us continue to trust Him and wait and watch and see what He will do.

And so thank you again for so faithfully praying and supporting us . . . so many of you have written to encourage . . I know that it is just as difficult and challenging a journey of faith for each of you as well . . thank you. We can never thank each of you enough but my comfort is that He knows all your hearts and all you have gone through.

My readings from Isaiah 43 and 44 yesterday, and 45 and 46 today are again encouraging. God is still God and there is no other.
His peace and grace be with each of you in ever increasing measure as you worship Him and seek His face.

In the Father's Hands

kim guat

p.s. don't worry about us, we are keeping well by His grace
p.p.s My apologies if I am getting long-winded in my updates :-) some of my friends say I have a tendency to be long-winded . . I don't necessarily agree but . . ! God bless :-)

2008-09-03T22:02:00.001+08:00

update : 3rd sept 2008

My dearest brothers and sisters in Christ,

Thanks for your emails and concerns, cares and love. Some of you are worrying about me since yesterday was the day of the final searching for Yi-Jien and I haven’t written anything. The result is that nothing is found. When I left the rangers’ office, I did not cry but feeling my hope of finding Yi-Jien is getting less and less. They told me they had cover over 80% of the search area and some parts of the area even reach 95%, and they were very frustrated and disappointed, so they decided there would be no more active search. If rangers or hikers passing through the same area and find something, they may start the search again. I believe all the rangers think if Yi-Jien is found, he is death. I guess if we think rationally, we probably would also agree with all the rangers. Somehow I have been asking God if Yi-Jien is death, I would like to see his body. Yet God did not answer me, thus I put my hope even it seems hope against hope to wait for God’s mighty help to save Yi-Jien. Thus what we do here in the motel about 10 miles away from Glacier national park is to pray, to cry with the song “Our Father – Don Moen” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlHiDohcEEw). We spend most of our time praying and waiting. I have to admit that I am not a patient person at all and waiting is my weakest part of my life. Thus I cried a lot at the end of the day when there is no news to express my disappointment, frustration, pain, worries,…and questioning God how long, how long…? Three days ago, it was Sunday and I did not forget to sing praises to God, so I started listening songs on youtube and sang along in my heart. I found out that my heart could not fully sing praises to God. There is a conflict in my heart. I want to trust in the Lord, but my pains and my questions and my disappointment stop me to worship Him. Then God gave me a verse from Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight. I keep this verse in my heart and ask God why can’t I fully trust in you and praise you and pray for God to help me to take away the part in my heart which stop me worshipping Him. Yesterday before I went to ranger office, God gave me this song “I will sing – Don Moen” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W1EdvUfaRY&feature=related) and the verse in the song from Habakkuk 3:17-19 Though the fig tree does not blossom, and no fruit is on the vines; though the produce of the olive fails, and the fields yield no food; though the flock is cut off from the fold, and there is no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will exult in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and makes me tread upon the heights. It is my choice to choose to sing and to praise God even though everything does not seem make sense, everything does not seem work out. I still choose to sing and praise our Triumph God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit even though Yi-Jien is not found. God teaches me this is the trust He wants me to have in Him. I will continue to sing and praise the Lord in all circumstances. Then my heart is filled with peace though pain is still there, questions is still in my mind. Does that mean I loose hope to wait for Yi-Jien? The answer is no until God shows me to let go and move on. I am still praying for Yi-Jien to “Jia Yo” (means “keep up” and it was in my dream). So please continue to pray for Yi-Jien and I shall put my trust in the Lord with all my heart.

I do want to give my heartfelt thanks to you all lifting us (me, my mother in law and my family) in your prayers. I truly feel the community of God on earth without boundaries, nationalities, skin color, gender and age. I believe I could not walk this far without the support of prayers and love from the community of God. Let’s praise the Lord for His goodness and love.

In His Grace and Mercy

Siu Yin

2008-09-03T00:33:00.001+08:00

update : 2nd sept 2008

Dear All,

Monday has passed and there is no news. We had been hoping that this perhaps was the day that God would deliver Yi Jien but it was not to be. It has been disappointing but not devastating. Again we are gently though painfully reminded that God's ways and thoughts are far beyond ours and God does not need to work within our time frame. I have been late in sending this out because Siu Yin and I have been talking and praying . . and we want to continue to hold on in trust and faith in our heavenly Father who we believe has been sheltering Yi Jien and us throughout all this time under His wings, and who still faithfully and lovingly assures us to wait in quiet trust.

Many of you have been sharing very encouraging passages from His Word (thank you) . . and He has also continued to assure us through His Word. He has given Siu Yin Proverbs 3:5 . . to trust in Him and not lean on our own understanding . . and for me as I continue reading Isaiah 41 and 42, the assurance that He is my God who is with me. We both just ended this night singing with Michael Smith (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcw3Tfg4CZg) 'How Great is our God.'

We want to remain faithful and obedient even when we might not fully fathom what is happening and so we ask that you continue to do the same . . . let us continue to come before His throne of grace to love Him and worship Him, and then we pray as He leads . . our end desire being above all esle that He be praised and glorified.

"For nothing is impossible for God." "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." (Luke 1:38) May these words resonate with each of our hearts as we come before our heavenly Father.

The peace and joy of the Father, Son and Spirit be with each of you, dear friends and family members.

Love in Him

kim guat

2008-09-01T23:23:00.001+08:00

Dear All,

I was very down before we met the rangers (we normally meet them everyday at 4pm). I always have a great hope Yi-Jien is found at the beginning of the day…yet when time past, no news no phone call makes me feel so down and heartbreaking. Thank God to have my mother in law with me. She always helps me to hold on the hope that Yi-Jien is alive through many people who have received this from God. I myself keep asking God to affirm to me but my mind and my heart are not quiet enough to hear God's tender voice. Thus I hold on to what I read through Psalms and knowing when we cry out to God in troubles, he will deliver us and we shall praise Him. Today when the searching is done, I was upset but I have hope and God keeps reminding me I shall see His wonders…I ask God when, He said soon. My heart fills with joy and peace and I am holding this hope again for tomorrow. Please do not stop praying for that hope…Yi-Jien is still alive and will come back to us. Though searching time is getting short, we trust in God who is merciful and faithful to His children.

Much love and thanks for your unceasing prayers

Siu Yin

2008-09-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

update: 31 aug 2008

Dear All,

Sunday has ended for us and they have not found anything as yet. They will only send 1 or 2 more teams tomorrow and Tuesday but weather is not promising for these next few days. And actually they do not know where else to send the teams short of any clue turning up. They will be meeting on Tuesday morning (Malaysian Tue night) to review the case and they will most likely not do any more active search after that. We appear quite 'foolish' to them each time we meet because we tell them that we are still holding onto the hope that Yi Jien is alive because God has been affirming that for us . . . for them, they are quite sure that he can no longer be alive after 21 days.

As I mentioned in my last update, we can only trust that it is when we are absolutely without resources of our own or have no recourse to any human help or hope that He often shows Himself. And that seems to be the case now . . . humanly there is nothing we or the rangers can do at this point. We have not given up hope because God has not stopped assuring us that He will deliver Yi Jien . . . logically too, if He has kept Yi Jien alive all this while, then He should see to it that Yi Jien comes out alive.

I was reading Psalm 138 (my regular reading) and Isaiah 40 today. I had not wanted to turn to Isaiah for a long time because I did not want to simply claim God's promises from there because there are a number of such passages. But today, someone pointed me to Isaiah 46 and then I decided to read from Isaiah 40 onwards. Psalm 138:6-8 spoke to me again about His deliverance and the whole chapter of Isaiah 40 was immensely assuring. Before I slept the night before the words of the song 'Still' came to me . . "Find rest my soul in God alone, know His power in quietness and trust."

I feel bad that I have to keep asking all of you to continue to pray with us because it has been such a trying time for you as well . . but let us not give up hope yet and in faith to continue to come before His 'throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).'

So thank you again for coming alongside us and prevailing in prayer with us. His peace and joy be with you as you continue in faith to seek His face.

In His peace

kim guat

2008-08-30T17:27:00.000+08:00

update: 30th aug 2008

Dear All,

The weather today was better than yesterday but not that good for them to do the aerial search or bring in dogs. The search teams have come back with nothing as yet. It looks like tomorrow will be the only day where the weather conditions would be just right. Beginning Sunday and through the next week, the weather will be against us - more rain will be coming.

So humanly speaking, tomorrow would be the only window of opportunity for rescue where the physical conditions would be optimum. They will be sending in 2 dog teams, there will be an aerial search with helicopter/s and ground teams going out as well. They are going to do their best to cover as much ground as they can and begin early 7 am (your Sat night 9 pm) if weather permits.

I will not list down what to pray for this time. I believe that each of you should ask the Lord how and what to pray and allow Him to lead and guide you. Beyond wanting Yi Jien to be found alive, Siu Yin and my desire is that God's name be ultimately glorified and praised. Pray as the Holy Spirit leads.

We have not given up hope as yet . . and we are being hopeful not because we are simply being presumptuous that God must or should always save. For me it has always been, Lord Your will be done, regardless, whatever glorifies Your name, and here it could either mean death or life. But I am holding onto this hope that Yi Jien is alive because this seems to be what God is saying continually, not just to Siu Yin and myself, but to many, many others, not just a few; and many of those who have shared are people whom I trust and respect . . so that gives me that boldness to stand on this hope, otherwise I would not dare. With God who is the maker of heaven and earth, all things are possible.

The last stretch seems to be stretching but let us continue to hold fast and pray that His name be glorified through all this and that when Yi Jien comes out alive, there can be no doubt that this is a miracle that only God can do. And all praise and glory be to Him.

So thank you all again for bearing through this very difficult time of praying and waiting in faith upon Him . . . but I trust that God knows what He is doing and He is still in charge. Our family cannot find the words to express how deeply grateful we are to each of you, near and far, who have prevailed and travailed for us. Thank you . . .

In His Shalom

kim guat

2008-08-29T16:04:00.000+08:00

update: 29 aug 2008
Note: Msian time is 14 hours ahead of Mountain time in USA.

Dear All,

Thank you all for so faithfully and lovingly praying and fasting for us . . . I am not sure how I can ever thank all of you after all this is over and Yi Jien is safe . . . We have been so overwhelmed by His love as shown in all of you, many of you (I know this gets circulated world-wide) do not even know me and my family, and yet you have all pitched in and supported us and are carrying us through this time. Thank you . .

I believe what God seems to be doing through all this extends beyond my family and for that I greatly rejoice. I hear of prayer chains being started, people being stirred to pray, churches coming together to pray and not just in Malaysia . . . we trust that God will continue to use this to fulfil His larger purposes and bring much glory to His name.

The last stretch seems to be stretching but we trust it will not be long now. Weather conditions will only be good starting tomorrow and Saturday and so that window of opportunity weather-wise is only for the next two days or so. Once they reach Tues, they will most likely scale down. Right now, in God's goodness, they have not scaled down as much as they had originally planned. So can we pray for the following:

1. Weather - it will clear fast (Fri) tomorrow ( Malaysia's Fri 8pm onwards) and winds will not be strong so they can begin their aerial search; if not they will only do it on Sat

2. Aerial search - they will use some kind of scope to check out the grounds - pray that they will be able to detect anything that will lead them to Yi Jien

3. Dog teams - the dog handlers have not decided yet to agree though they are open; please pray that this can be done

4. Siu Yin - she will be talking to the chief rangers - Patrick (head) and Kyle - to persuade them to concentrate more in the area that she thinks Yi Jien might have started - Gunsight trail.

5. Finally that God will still be sovereign and direct the searchers to the right spot for there is just too much area to cover in detail.

Thank you all again for journeying with us . . . so many of you have written to share comfort, prayers, assurances from the Lord that Yi Jien is still alive . . . that helps us to hold onto that hope that God is still sovereign and it is to Him that we look for 'our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.'

"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the Lord surrounds his people
both now and forevermore" (Psalm 125:1-2)

I will end on that promise of God for each of us . . God bless each of you dear brothers and sisters in Christ.

In His shalom

kim guat

2008-08-28T12:31:00.001+08:00

update: 28 august 2008

Dear All,

I trust that you are all keeping well in the Lord. Siu Yin and I are doing well. God has encouraged us greatly even though the day ended without Yi Jien being found and we have to continue waiting for another day.

This morning the Lord encouraged me through Pauline as she shared with me about her conviction as she spent time with the Lord that Jesus himself was ministering to Yi Jien in Hi own tenderness and also in my own time with the Lord where I was reading Psalm 124:

"If the Lord had not been on our side - let Israel say . . . when the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away . . . Praise be to the Lord who has not let us be torn by their teeth, we have escaped like a bird out of the fowler's snare, the snare has been broken and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

The part about the waters was quite comforting because that was what the rangers thought most likely could have happened to him - either swept away or covered in a glacier . . . but generally the gentle assurance from Him again that YJ is kept alive and safe by Him.

For Siu Yin, the Lord was very gentle and loving knowing that this would be a hard day again for her because each night had always ended up in 'disappointment' . . in the afternoon she napped just before outr time of breifing with the rangers. She had a dream which was all filled with light and she saw not Yi Jien's face but his body on a gurney being pushed into an ambulance. She said that gave her peace when she woke up and the quietness of heart which prepared her for the meeting.

So God has been really good to assure us every step of the way, through other friends as well, to keep faith and hope in Him. And I share that to encourage each of us to continue to trust Him and wait in quiet confidence.

Please pray for the following:

1. Weather - to clear fast and not to have strong winds otherwise they cannot do an aerial search; they have agreed with Siu Yin's suggestion to cover more extensively the trial leading from Mary's Falls to Gunsight Pass; she thinks he may have started here instead but there is a lot of densely covered brush area for a few miles.

2. The doghandlers would be open to use dogs again to see if they can pick up human scent - there are some risks of bears around so the handlers must assess the dangers and decide . . . we think that this will help in those areas that are covered by dense brush

3. For the aerial serach to be able to start early (only possible if weather clears quickly) - and just guidance for them as they scope the area

4. What areas to specifically cover - they will somehow home in on the right area. Right now, they are at a loss because of lack of any detail/clue to follow on . . or that some detail may change that will alert them to where he is

They have been really helpful and are trying to accommodate our requests as far as possible - so we can really thank God for that answer to our prayer. So let's continue to pray that God will lead and guide them to make the right plans and search areas tomoorw meeting.

Thank you all so much again . . I know the going has been really trying . . but He has continued to comfort and assure along the way.

God bless, everyone and thank you . . .

kim guat

2008-08-28T09:17:00.002+08:00

The Nature of Expertise

by Steve Howe from The Backpacker

A vanished backpacker and two ice tunnel collapses illustrate that most expertise is merely local knowledge

Wow, the days have slipped by. I've had my head buried in 2009 catalogs, selecting stuff to test for next April's Gear Guide, because from now through December, BP staffers and testers will be putting all this outdoor schwag through the wringer. Toss in a couple hard weekend biking sessions, along with my usual moaning, zombie-like recovery, and damn if it's already blogging time again. Conveniently, however, and as usual for late summer, there's been no shortage of painful epics to analyze.

The French Alps continue to stack up casualties. Last week a massive avalanche peeled off the north face of Mount Blanc du Tacul at 11,800 feet and swept across the heavily used lower glacier on the standard route up Mount Blanc (15,780-feet), Europe's highest peak. Eight climbers were killed, seven others were injured, three of them seriously. It happened in an area known for serac-fall threat. Avalanche beacons later showed that the eight missing climbers were all swept into a crevasse and buried under tons of fractured ice. Their bodies will remain there. Aerial helicopter footage shows the serac peeled off about 1,000 feet above a lower-angled snowfield. Ice ran the whole distance, roaring down on several groups of roped climbers. The causation here is similar to the recent avalanche that killed 11 climbers in the Hourglass couloir on K2 at 27,000 feet elevation. Roughly 100 climbers and trekkers have died in the Alps this season, 20 of them in the Mount Blanc area. That's an average year for this steep, gnarly, busy range.

In the U.S., three incidents illustrate what I think are important concepts and cautions in wilderness safety:

First off, Yi-Jien Hwa, a fit 27-year-old hiker from Malaysia and Lexington, Kentucky, remains missing, probably off-trail, in Glacier National Park. Hwa, a six-foot-one-inch, 170-pound seminary student, had become an avid backpacker in the last several years, listing perhaps six major destination backpacks annually. He has not been seen since August 11th when he picked up his permit for a 7-day, 96-mile backpack route that began in the Sperry region, then wandered north across Floral Park, Gunsight Pass, the Highline Trail, and Goat Haunt to end at Kintla Lake near the Canadian border. Hwa was due out on August 18th.

More than 2,500 search hours, including foot searchers, horseback parties, rescue dogs and aerial observation have turned up no clues to Hwa's whereabouts. His car was located in Logan Pass parking lot, probably positioned there for a resupply. No other backcountry parties have reported encountering Hwa. The early portion of Hwa's route includes areas of cross-country travel, but much of the route lies on the popular Highline. Searchers think it's unlikely that Hwa ever made it onto the route's trailed northern portions, since campers never saw him at his first night's campsite.

Currently searchers are concentrating on a high tundra bowl called Floral Park, which lies between Sperry Glacier and Logan Pass. The area includes remnant glacier, loose, cliff-strewn terrain, and endless boulderfields and talus. With so many searchers and so few clues, it's probable that Hwa took a fall early in his journey, and probably well off-route.Thunderstorms and fog hampered searchers throughout last week. While Hwa was clearly an active backpacker who was rapidly gaining experience, he was unfamiliar with northern Rockies environments, and particularly the very loose rock and impressive mountain storms that characterize Glacier.

The same "unfamiliar environment" concept figures into the tale of Richard Felder (58) a hiker from Houston, Texas who fell through a snow bridge in Avalanche Canyon in Wyoming's Tetons and was stranded for over 30 hours, in the open, with serious injuries. Felder was on a backpacking trip with his wife Patty along the Teton Crest Trail when he changed plans and decided to descend via barely trailed Avalanche Canyon, rather than the usual Cascade Canyon trail descent. He had apparently read about the route through Avalanche Canyon in a recent issue of Backpacker Magazine

However, the Backpacker article describes Avalanche Canyon in the opposite direction, citing difficult routefinding. While descending past Snowdrift Lake, Felder lost the user trail in cliff bands and snowfields and ended up getting suckered into the outlet stream gully below Snowdrift Lake, rather than descending gentler talus fields to the north. He had no ice axe, but kept descending on increasingly sketchy terrain until he dropped through a snowbridge into the stream beneath, receiving significant injuries. Felder managed to climb out, but while re-donning his pack at the top of the hole, he took another fall, going over a 10-foot cliff and sustaining broken bones, internal and head injuries. The now seriously injured Felder was unable to get most gear out of his pack, and spent the night shivering in the open. Fortunately, searchers found him just before darkness fell on the second night.

It's easy to disparage these kinds of accidents as flatlanders in the big leagues, but vacation season brings many locally experienced backpackers and hikers into destination environments that are far different from, and often more challenging than, the country they came from. It's not a matter of being a 'newbie.' It's that most outdoor expertise is local experience, and whenever you leave your area of local experience, you automatically take a big step back in expertise. The same principle would apply to an experienced mountaineer in the Arizona deserts.

In fact, I still vividly remember my first-ever slickrock country backpack. I'd been a mountaineer for 12 years. I was a working guide in Colorado, leading clients ski mountaineering, anup technical 14ers like the Maroon Bells. I set out to hike Dark Canyon in the San Juan country of southern Utah, but instead spent four days lost (in Lost Canyon), confused by the negative, incut topography. It took two days of running grid patterns through the pinyon just to find my truck.

The whole concept got further drilled into me while doing Adventure Guide scouts. Up to three times each summer I spend two to three weeks scouting unusual trips in different national parks, leapfrogging between radically different environments like Big Bend, Yosemite, Glacier, Zion, the Canadian Rockies, and Organ Pipe. Each time it's like landing on a new planet. Trailheads to find. Weather to dial in. I make idiot mistakes in gear and route choices all the time. After several rounds of epics, now I usually do my day hike scouting first, just to get oriented, then move on to backpacking trips. So build in some caution, especially on big, bad, once-a-summer trips.

Aside from that, Mr. Felder's epic points out at least five very common mistakes that often get hikers into trouble. They are:

--Don't change plans enroute.
--Never separate. Start together; stay together.
--Never travel on steep snow unless you have an ice axe, gloves and self-arrest skills.
--Don't get sucked into descending gullies unless you want to. Gullies always look like the obvious descent, and it's easy to continue downhill when you should climb back up and look for an alternate route.
--Always avoid snow bridges, whether they're over streams, boulder fields, or glacier crevasses. They're a commonly encountered trap in alpine terrain, and they can be deadly.

That last caution also figures into the recent tale of two Washington teenagers, Allesandro Gelmini, 14, and Alec Corbett, 17, who nearly died when a roadside snow cave they were investigating collapsed on top of them. Rescuers arriving on scene near Washington's Snoqualmie Pass expected both boys would be dead, judging by the huge blocks that buried them, but when they chainsawed down through the rubble they found both victims in surprisingly good condition. They had been buried between "two stories" of ice for over five hours. Both boys were able to walk from the wreckage, but later underwent back surgery for broken spines. And in mid-summer SAR reporting, that counts as good news. Hike safe. -- steve howe

2008-08-27T22:20:00.003+08:00

it is well with my soul ...

http://www.dailyinterlake.com/articles/2008/08/26/news/news02.txt
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,409341,00.html
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/8/26/nation/22170768&sec=nation

this post is taking me sometime to write ...

i am not too sure how to start and not too sure how to end. as u can read or have read from the articles about, my fren Yi Jien, has been missing for quiet some time now.

sindy is yi-jien's wife ... please do keep her in prayer.

Siu-Yin Sindy Lau at 3:01am August 27

Thanks for all your love and prayers. Here is the update I just sent out.
Dear all,
Thanks for all your love and care through your faithful prayers. I have received many of your mails and they really comfort my heart and put my hope in God through Jesus Christ. (with thankful tears)
I arrived glacier park on Sat afternoon. Thank God I was able to find a fight once I arrived San Francisco to come here. The rangers showed me Yi-Jien’s car and we found out that he only brought 2-3 days food and 3-Liter water with him and some water tablets. He planned to stay in two camp sites and then came back to the car and refilled for next 5 days trip. Yet from what we found in the car, he never came back to the car and refilled his food and water. Yi-Jien has lost 15 days and over 90% possibility that he was lost the first day of the trip. Thus the search teams have focused most of their time in the first 2 days trial. The search teams have almost cover 85% of their search in the snow area, yet nothing was found, not even his belongings. I feel the search teams are discouraged and the head of the search team Patrick told me that yesterday was the last day of big search. Today they only send one team with 2 people going to the beginning of his first day trail. Please pray that our Father God continuous to strengthen the search team to hope for the best (Yi-Jien always said). I cry to God everyday for His mercy and help, sustain Yi-Jien and bring him back alive soon. I really cannot handle this by myself, and I lost hope at some point and felt guilty not able to come back earlier to be with Yi-Jien. Yet my mother in law encouraged me to keep hope in God and she came yesterday to be with me. She has been calling friends back come who are praying fervently for Yi-Jien and some intercessors got vision that Yi-Jien is still alive. Pray for God’s mercy and love to strengthen our hearts and keep trusting in Him. Please continue to pray unceasingly.
Siu Yin

this is an email from aunty kim guat ,( she is someone i grew to love and respect thru the years. she is one of the most amazing women and the strongest person i've ever met. ) will let the email tell the story ...

Dear All,

We have talked to them again; they said that they had covered quite extensively the area that Siu Yin had thought about also within the first few days of their search; they also had some people there the last 2 days. They have not planned out tomorrow's schedule yet depending on the weather; does not look good, most likely would be like today (tues) where it snowed in the higher parts and rained in the lower areas. So the seachers could not do much. Unless weather clears, they would not be able to do much tomorrow and will concentrate their resources like aerial search on Thur and Fri when the forecast is better; they said they needed to preserve the energies of their people because the terrains are not easy to cover. (Siu Yin said the rain might not be bad cos it might give Yi Jien a source of water)

They said they have not given up yet even though they have scaled down; their other strategy has been to widely inform all rangers, visitors, etc, whoever is in the park to keep a watchout as well. Now it is only as they said 'rolling the dice' - because they don't know where to go unless they have specific clues which they don't have up to this point. All the high probability areas have been covered and the rest of the area is very vast.

So we now need to pray:

1. for clear weather as soon as possible
2. wisdom and clear guidance for the rangers as they plan their schedule for tomorrow and the next few days as to where they should cover; they said if Yi Jien is hiding under rocks, it is really not possible for them to be able to cover all the areas with rocks
3. God will lead the searchers to the exact area or somehow Yi Jien is able to move out to an area where at least some sign will show to them that there is someone there (they do watch out for animal activities, etc., but so far nothing, not even the flying birds - they said the moment they get anything, they will immediately refocus their search but so far they have not got anything
4. God will continue to keep Yi Jien alive till they find him
5. for Patrick (head) and Kyle who is now running the operations (Gary Moses will come back next week) that God will change their hearts and attitude because at this point, I know they are thinking that it is only looking for a dead body; they are frustrated and discouraged and humanly speaking think that it is not possible for Yi Jien to be alive since it'a already 2 weeks; they lack the motivation now I believe

but we have not given up hope yet; so even if less people or efforts are involved, God is still sovereign and can do anything - so we need to continue to ask Him to stretch out His arm and save and deliver. Thank you all for continuing to prevail - let's make this one last effort together - so if you can inform people to pray . .

Keep well . . it is still 'well with our souls'

God bless

kim guat

i am not too sure wat God is trying to do, or why is this happening... so many questions asked, so many questions unanswered.

i started this post wanting to write something ... but i dun seem to be able to do it ...

but i am pretty sure i know how to end the post

God is still God , and He is still in control over all circumstances no matter how dark the situation may be ...
we may have a lot of unanswered questions, i know i do , and there are tons of uncertaintiest but God's promise remains true.

His promise to never leave us nor forsake us

His promise to be there for us no matter what

And His promise to answer our prayers ( no matter what the answer maybe )

so guys... if u are reading this ... i would be a great help if u guys can help prayer for and with the family ...
it would be greatly appreciated ...

thanks guys

i dun think i make any sense here ... clouded mind ...

2008-08-20T22:37:00.002+08:00

a little help needed here ! sigh

2008-05-31T23:30:00.000+08:00


It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone.: Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

enough said ...

2008-05-27T09:39:00.003+08:00

sometimes good things never come till the very end ...

left ,back row : Ali , Arik , Esther
left, front row : Pui Mun, Laura, me , Vivian , Jasmine ,Gummy Bear aka Blur one Aka Rachel , Janice , Melvin and Yik Han

and behind the camera: Jacky ...

missing this bunch of students a lot ...

only got them in my very last semester in inti ... sigh ...

2008-01-27T21:33:00.000+08:00

well u know what they say ,

a picture paints a 1000 words ...

enough said ...

2007-12-27T05:50:00.000+08:00

blek ...

having trouble sleeping ...

ding dong bell ...

doink , boing ,

la la la la la la

somewhereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, overrrrrrrr the rainbowwwwwwwwwwwwww ...

waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy uuuuuuuuuupppppppp highhhhhhhh ...

: )

ok i am done ...

coming soon ...

the good , the bad , the ugly of 2007

the best , the bestest , the best bestest 2007

2007-12-25T03:04:00.000+08:00

merry Christmas jie ...

love and miss you much ... wished you were here

2007-12-24T03:03:00.001+08:00

where are u Christmas?

A few months before Christmas, I wasn't looking forward to Christmas. cos come Christmas this year , kathie would have flown down to aussie and things would have been rather different. and I reckon I would miss her tons.( and I do )

but is Christmas really about the festivity, the people, the hustle and bustle of shopping, and all ?

where is Christmas right now?

as we look around us, where is Christmas?

what is Christmas really all about?
the world and media wants u to believe that Christmas is all about Santa Claus, Christmas trees, full of eating drinking and merrying.

but where is Christmas?

where is Christmas right now ?

even the name Christmas has suffered the lost of meaning. For Merry Christmas , its become merry Xmas to Happy Holiday .

let Christmas be Christmas ...

let Christmas be what it really is... Let is be about Christ.

let it be about the greatest Gift ever given.

and no its not gifts from santa claus but I am talking about the greatest gift ever.

the Gift of LOVE.

His gift of love to us.

what happen to that picture ? why is the original picture been repainted?
le
as we draw closer to Christmas , let us ask ourselves , what is Christmas really all about ?

is it about the food , is it about the decorations in the house, is it about the Christmas tress ?

what does Christmas really means to u ?

where is Christmas now ?

... BLESSED CHRISTMAS GUYS ...

Happy Birthday Jesus

2007-11-08T18:50:00.000+08:00

the 77th post

i was going thru some of my old post and came upon a question i asked , is it possible to miss someone before they can be missed ?

i got the answers .

but ,

it is now tat i experience my question and got my answers .

yes it is possible to miss someone before they can be miss.

in a few weeks time, i would have to say goodbye to a fren , a sister, a mentor and to the coolest person i would ever know.

sigh ... i am not too sure if i would be strong enough to do so, i would love to think that i can do it . but i am pretty sure i would not be able to do it .

how does one say goodbye to a person that has impacted ur life so much, how does one say goodbye to a person that has touched ur heart so much?
.
how does one say goodbye ?

how ?

been troubled by the tot of having to say goodbye, the very tot of it scares me, worries me, depresses me ...

not been a very big fan of farewells , this is the worst of the lost, cos , i would be saying goodbye to someone that that is very dear to me.

just so that you would know , k , i am already missing u , before i can even say goodbye.

2007-10-18T07:36:00.000+08:00

Roald Dahl

"There is no end to what you can invent if you put your mind to it. You can go on for ever."

...Witches...

"My darling," she said at last, "are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"

"I don't mind at all,"I said. "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as someone loves you."

2007-09-20T16:34:00.000+08:00

God sued over pestilence and terror

WASHINGTON (AFP) - A court in Nebraska is being asked to cast judgement on the ultimate judge -- God.

State lawmaker Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit Friday against the Almighty -- acknowledging he/she goes by numerous aliases -- for causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues" and other alliterative catastrophes.

The suit, Chambers vs God, asks the court for a "permanent injunction ordering defendant (God) to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terrorist threats" which affect innumerable persons, including Chambers's constituents.
It asserts that God is "the admitted perpetrator" of such acts and said that God's omnipresence gives the local Douglas County District Court jurisdiction in the suit, adding that God's omniscience eliminates the need to issue a formal notice of the lawsuit.
Chambers told local media he filed the suit to make a point about frivolous lawsuits frequently seen in US courts, citing a recent one against a judge.

He asked the court to award him an unspecified summary judgment against God, or, in the alternative, issue a permanent injunction against God engaging in the damaging acts cited in the filing.

Neither God nor his/her spokespersons could be contacted for comment. ( this last line is classic )

____________________________________________________________________________________

talk about making a statement ...

2007-09-07T15:11:00.000+08:00

Announcement

this is from boy tmy's blog ...

The Idiot Nation of Faltasia screenings

Freedom Film Fest 2007

50th Merdeka: The Untold Human Rights Stories

14- 16 September 2007
Kuala Lumpur – Central Market Annexe
3rd FloorCentral Market Annexe
Jalan Hang Kasturi
50050 Kuala Lumpur

*
Idiot Nation screening is 8.30 p.m. - Friday the 14th, 2007

*
There's a Penang and Johor swing a few weeks later too.

i think fikri has something coming up as well , remember reading it from somewhere but i dun remember where ... :)

2007-09-04T10:52:00.000+08:00

Point of view is a view from a point

but

A view from a point is not point of view

you see ?

2007-08-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

introducing the new-est addition to the clan ...

Carisa Wong Jia En

she's so cute ...

awww...

: )

2007-08-10T09:01:00.000+08:00

Heart song

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Psalm 51:10

A heart of love that never insists on its own way

2007-08-06T16:13:00.000+08:00

ppl with brains on their backside should be shot !!!

2007-07-20T00:02:00.000+08:00

bla bla bla ... ya da ya da ya da ... ( tis is a i got nothing to do post and a blip post )

( its a hybrid )

time : 12.08 ( i think )

status : hmmm ... i dun know ... dun seem to be able to sleep . insomnia i think ... didn;t not drink coffee today ... only a can of coke for lunch . that all ... not even ice lemon tea.

the plan : to blog about just about everything and anything thing under sun ... or rather for now, under the moon. or i can knock myself out wit h a baseball bat ... but the latter sound rather painful, so i will stick to the 1st plan .

( 10 minutes later )

have not idea how to start ... sitting here staring on a blank screen ... well actually it is not really blank cos i am basically writing on a blank screen. but again it , it is not blank cos i am actually here typing here , it will be blank once i stop typing.but it will not be blank blank once i stop this crap it will just be blank and not blank blank.

( pause )

now after so many hits on enter ... it was blank blank ...

*note : it was ... now no more ... : )

hmmm lets see ... wat can i say ...

I LOVE ICE LEMON TEA ....

yay talking about ice lemon tea ... i got this new theory ... u guys know tat i get very hyper after i drink ice lemon tea right ... and u all will try all ways and means to stop me from drinking ice lemon tea ...

well now this is my theory ... thanks to my student , sarah ... if u are reading this , all credit goes to u ...

now u see , sarah came to class one day crazily hyper ... reason being ... she ate two bars of chocos i think ... hyper meaning ... really hyper hyper ... hyper like WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hyper... the bouncing up and down hyper ... heee ...

this is where the thoery kicks in ... she became sober again while she was eating another bar of choco...

u guys get the pic ... can u relate it to ICE LEMON TEA ?

heee ... if tak boleh let me tell ... or rather ... like wat sharon would like to use in writing classes ... show and not tell ...

but i dun think i will do it now ... too lazy to show ... i would rather tell

now , u see ...sarah , high , choco ... jo , high . ice lemon tea

sarah , give more choco ... sober ... so according to thoery ...

give jo more ice lemon tea , the more sober i will get ...

so now ...

SAY YES TO ICE LEMON TEA ...

woo hooo

yay

ok i am done ... but i am no where near sleepy ...

oh btw ... sarah said that if she makes a killer kick ass load of money ... she will buy me an ice lemon tea factory ... hahahha ... woo hoo ... we pinky promise some more ...

ok now i am done

dun i just have the coolest student : )

oppsi .. i almost forgot

sze jia .. this is for u ....

see tem tem poo poo head wit a kit kat machine ... poo poo head happy happy with her things from the kit kat machine ...

now see sze jia ... this is the way to treat a kit kat machine ... u are nice to it , it will be nice to u ...

* tem tem poo poo head = temme lee wei wei ... : )

i am so gonna get killed for this post ... oh well .. just for fun

ha

ha ha

ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha

ha ha

ha

- the end -

* lets hope ur mouse scroll scroll thingy is working ... heeee

: )

ha

ha ha

ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha

ha ha

2007-06-30T03:15:00.000+08:00

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

a time and a season for everything under the sun.

this is my tribute to a friend showed me the meaning of being a servant. to someone that showed me that God's blessings comes in small ways and big ways. for someone that has showed me that you can have nothing yet everything.

just for being who you are , i am thankful and am truly bless!

2007-06-27T08:52:00.000+08:00

will tomorrow be a better today and will today be a better yesterday ?

a little help needed Lord ... a little help needed

2007-06-24T13:50:00.001+08:00

From National Evangelical Christian Fellowship Malaysia

NECF MALAYSIA’S RESPONSE TO THE LINA JOY JUDGEMENT

NECF Malaysia is gravely disappointed by and dissatisfied with the Federal Court’s dismissal of Lina Joy’s appeal.

First of all, the Federal Court’s decision does not uphold the constitutional safeguard of freedom of religion. It is a person’s fundamental right to profess a religion of her own choice free from compulsion or interference by the state or its institutions. Freedom of religion under the Federal Constitution can only be restrained where a person acts contrary to any general law affecting public order, public health or morality. Therefore, it defies all logic that Lina Joy’s freedom to profess and exercise a faith of her own choice can be subject to administrative barrier in the NRD refusing to effect a change to her religious status except upon the order of the Syariah Court.

The foundational principle of supremacy of the Constitution over all other laws must be upheld.

NECF Malaysia is also deeply dismayed that the majority decision of the highest court has failed to bring about resolution to the present interfaith issues. By insisting that a person who no longer professes the religion of Islam but has embraced another religion to seek an order of the Syariah Court is equivalent to insisting that a muallaf ¹ who has attained the age of majority is obliged to seek the clearance of the religious leaders or authority of his former religion. Mutual respect and tolerance surely cannot be fostered without due regard to the principle of reciprocity.

In affirming the decision of the Court of Appeal, the Federal Court has perpetuated a most unfair and untenable position for Lina Joy and others in a similar dilemma. They now cannot enjoy the full rights as citizens as they are trapped in a religion which they no longer profess and are unable to lawfully marry, have children and live in accordance with the values, precepts and practices of the religion of their choice.

Finally, NECF Malaysia is extremely concerned that the Lina Joy case demonstrates the highest civil court retreating in the face of the relentless onslaught on their position as the third institution in a democratic system of government. In the hierarchy of the judiciary, the Federal Court is vested the judicial power of the Federation.

In this case, the judiciary has unfortunately failed to play its most important role of being both the guardians and interpreters of our Constitution. As an institution above the fray of politics, it is the only institution that can neutrally and without partisan considerations decide the serious issues raised in the Lina Joy case. It is constrained only by true and loyal allegiance to the rule of law and the supremacy of the Constitution, the twin pillars of our Rukunegara.

In the civil court’s abdicating its judicial power in religious matters on the basis of Article 121 (IA) of the Constitution, the Federal Court is placing undue stress and strain on the government to legislate or amend related laws when the due exercise of its judicial power as interpreter of the Constitution would have brought about a fair and just resolution to the issues.

While the country has undergone a significant shift towards “islamization” since the 1980s, the proclamation of Malaysia as an Islamic country in 2001, though a political expediency, has had considerable psychological impact and further polarized Malaysian citizens of different ethnic and religious backgrounds. Religious vigilantism has been heightened among not only the religious ones, but also the bureaucrats. Administrative actions whether in policies or laws are being implemented without scrupulous regard to the requirements of the policies or laws but with the imposition of syariah rules and requirements. For example, non-Muslim police women are to wear Muslim headscarves for the annual parade. The happenings in recent years are indeed grave concerns. Among others, there are religious authorities breaking up families in the name of religion, the custody tussles between a non-Muslim parent and a Muslim parent, and public morality based on the principles of a particular religion.

The Christian community acknowledges the special position of Islam as the State religion for ceremonial purposes, and recognizes the application of Islamic family laws to those professing the religion of Islam in areas outlined in the Federal Constitution. We uphold the sanctity of the Malaysian Constitution as the supreme law of the land, and it is our hope that the Prime Minister, who has publicly declared to be the Prime Minister of all Malaysians, would fulfil his promises to establish a clean, just, harmonious and prosperous nation.

The decision of the Federal Court sets a landmark example of making legal judgement based on religious sentiment and thus inadvertently disregarding the fundamental right of an individual to profess and practice the religion of his or her choice. In the light of this, NECF Malaysia urges all Christian leaders to encourage their congregations to set aside time, both corporately and privately, to pray for our nation as a whole, in the next few weeks and months. Let us bring to God these matters of extreme gravity and urgency, and humbly ask Him to intervene so that truth, righteousness and godliness will prevail in our land.

The very basic structure of our nation, our institutions, our Constitution and the Rukunegara must remain the solid rock on which Malaysia will continue to prosper and stand tall among the community of nations, and on which all Malaysians strive and thrive together as a multiracial, multicultural and multi-religious society. Let us, the concerned citizens of Malaysia, exercise our rights to make a good decision at the right place and at the right platform.

_________
¹ Muallaf: a convert from a non-Islamic religion who has chosen to profess Islam

2007-06-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

C is for cookie

"C" is for Cookie that's good enough for me,

"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,

"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,

Oh! cookie, cookie, cookie starts with "C"!

cookies , cookies , cookies ...

choco chips cookies , choco chips cookies ...

i love choco chips cookies as much as i love ICE LEMON TEA ...

guess wat is sitting in my apartment right now ?

a whole box full of FAMOUS AMOS COOKIES ...

woo hooooooooooooooooooooo

* ps : see szejia .. i dun have to bash down anything to get wat i wan ... heee ... the poor kit kat machine ...

2007-06-21T13:38:00.000+08:00

i finally get a working computer !!! woot ...

slow but working ...

woo hoo ...

back to work now ... : )

2007-06-19T21:21:00.001+08:00

2007-05-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
RIGHT !
am not tat nice ...

: )

i got to start writing again ... but am just lazy ... plain old lazy ... being a bum ...

well wats new right ? : )

2007-05-17T18:17:00.000+08:00

2007-05-14T21:46:00.000+08:00

i don't have a good story to tell

i don't have a funny story to tell

in fact i have got nothing to tell

but yet i have everything to tell

2007-04-14T01:15:00.000+08:00

2007-04-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

Am wondering ...

am wondering if it is possible to miss someone before they can even be missed ... ?

u know like ... before someone can even leave , you are already missing them ?

can you ?

can you miss someone before they can be missed ?

2007-04-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

2007-04-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

i seriously have nothing better to do ....

time : 12: 12 am ( relatively early compared to my other i got nothing better to do post )

status : am really , really , really , really , really , really , really , really , really , really , really bored ...

the plan : for once ... i got no plans wat so ever ...

somewhereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ooooooooooooooverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr theeee rainbowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ,

wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... there's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

laaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnd that iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii heeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrddddd of ooooonceeeeeeeeeeeeeee innnnnnnnnnn aaaaaaaaaaa lu-lu-buyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2007-04-08T14:15:00.000+08:00

Chirst is RISEN ,

HE IS RISEN INDEED ...

there is only one truth and one truth alone , that Chirst is RISEN ... even in the deepest , most darkest hour and place ...

- there is hope

- there is deliverance

Blessed Easter everybody ...

2007-04-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

i need my brains to stop working , i need it to stop thinking.

stop dumb dumb brain stop.

STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

2007-01-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

You got tag 5

The Firsts and Lasts Taggy

10 Firsts--
First Best Friend > Fay Wee
First Screen name > Raccoon
First Pet Name > pet name as in my pet (as in the animal ?)= an inside joke , some would
understand
First Piercing > forgot when ...
First Crush > Kindergarten , he is still a fren of mine till now ... : )
First CD > Shout to the Lord
First School > Wesley Kindergarten.
First Cries > I reckon it was about the second i got into this world
First Kiss > dun remember , most prob to my dad
First Car > yuppers , it was given to me ...

9 Lasts--
Last Time You Smoked > sometime this week ( do you believe me ? )
Last Food You Ate > Mom's cooking
Last Car Ride > last night with my dad ,
Last Movie You Watched > the guardian
Last Phone Call > to some one from Sing-Tel
Last Bubble Bath You Took > when i was a kid ?
You Listened To > SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW
Last Words You Said > ICE LEMON TEA

8 Have You Ever--
Dated A Best Friend > Yuppers
Been Arrested > Almost , in kampar
Been on TV > yeah , home video's mah
Eaten Sushi > Ya.
Cheated On Your B/F or G/F > Noppers
Been On A Blind Date > not just as yet
Been Out Of The Country > Ya.
Been In Love > Once.

7 Things You Are Wearing--

1 > T-shirt
2 > shorts
3 > -
4 > -
5 > -
6 > -
7 > -

6 Things You've Done Today--
1 > job hunt
2 > sent in CV
3 > fed the doggies
4 > was thinking of cleaning my room
5 > Drove around malacca looking for ideas
6 > updated the blog

5 Favorite Things --
1 > J CUBE and Devon
2 > cards , bookmarks , handmade little notes , letters
3 > my PC
4 > Handphone
5 > ICE LEMON TEA ( am wondering if this is a thing or not)

4 People You Most Trust--
1 > DAD
2 > MOM
3 > Bro
4 > Sis

3 Things You Want To Do Before You Die--
1 > just to sit by the beach , or on a mountian with ppl i love and care about and just talk
2 > to tell the ppl i love and care about that i love them
3 > i wouldn't ask for flowers

2 Choices--
Vanilla or Chocolate > Neither
Hugs or Kisses > two two also i wan

1 Person You Want To See Right Now--
YOU

2007-01-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

there is the black area

and there is

the white area
(it reads as , the white area )

and we also have the grey area

no more black and white
only grey .

2007-01-20T19:36:00.000+08:00

A blip

i had nothing better to do yesterday so senf out a few e-card for no good reason at all , sat down a read my dad's collection of Life magazine , did nothing productive ... : )

waited for a killer long time for my dad's fren to arrive in the bus station , drank coffee , couldn;t sleep till about 5 something this morning.

2007-01-14T15:18:00.000+08:00

Sappy LOVE songs

1st of all , let me say ..."I AM NOT A HOPELESS ROMANTIC"...

ok i done , thats is that ...

now ... in the misdt of helping compile a cd and doing the wedding slides for thier wedding , i got some frens to help out with the songs ...
* i dun ask for sappy love songs just for fun ok .... : )

and i feel in love with a few of them ... and am thinking of using some of them for future use ...

for example
wedding vows ... - the ice kacang song ( much thanks goes to shoe ... )
* vern actually called me mean for sending this song to him ... see i can be mean if i wanted too. am still learning to be mean and evil . still stuck in 'learning to be mean and evil 101

wedding dance ... - we will dance , steven curtis chapman ( shoe again , woo hoo )
* lovely song , lovely and sweet i tell u .

wedding march - if you could see what i see ( one of my old time pal use this song for his wedding )
* guys if u would sing this song for ur future wife as they walk it , i am pretty sure their hearts will melt or they will be laughing their way in.

theme song for the wedding - can't live a day without You , avalon . and never saw blue like this before .
* awww ... so beautiful i tell u , : )

but , stilll got to find place to put in my all time bestest song , We could be in love .

ok cannot think of anything to write anymore ...

oh wait there is another song , fikri sent ... jim brickman - Beautiful as you ... lovely song i tell u , lovely

ok now i am done

and finally

again may i say

"I AM NOT A HOPELESS ROMANTIC"...

jo khoo says i am in denial ... but i am not , NOT NOT NOT NOT

ha

ha ha

ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ah

ha ah ha ha ah

ha ha ha ah

ha ha ha

ha ha

ha

2007-01-14T01:47:00.000+08:00

its no point running towards something
when u are running away from something else.

2007-01-01T22:15:00.001+08:00

2007

the new year is OVER-RATED

2007-01-01T21:50:00.000+08:00

Guess who is in town ...

2007-01-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

the ' jo i am going to kill you post ' 4

well i decided , since i am going to die and be killed , might as well finish it up lor ... hehe ...

2007-01-01T20:58:00.000+08:00

the "jo i am going to kill you post" 3

2006-12-27T17:16:00.000+08:00

"the best prove of love is trust"

joyce brothers

do you agree ?

2006-12-13T14:17:00.000+08:00

you got tag 4

(actually i didn't get tag ... i am just doing this for fun ... )

Layer ONE : On the Outside
Name : I am not too sure of this
Birthdate : Somewhere between 1^st jan – 31^st dec
Current Status : most prob would be alive or not its time for u to worry
Eye Color : Dark Brown
Hair Color : Black
Righty or Lefty : Right all the way
Zodiac Sign : not too sure as well

Layer TWO : On the Inside
Your heritage : well I think I am Chinese. And I am know I am Christian. The campur campur here and there , I am not too sure lor …
Your fears : if ice lemon tea suddenly cease to exist
Your weakness : not know how to say No ..
Your perfect pizza : … free ones …

Layer THREE : Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your first thoughts when waking up in the morning : … 5 more minutes please …
Your bedtime : is when I am suppose to go to sleep …
Your most missed memory : am wondering how u can miss memory , if u miss a memory it will not be a memory cos its already missed … so then it will not be a memory already cos it is forgotten.

Layer FOUR : Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : ice lemon tea
Mcdonalds or Burger King : McDs.
Single or group dates : wat dates are we talking about now …
Adidas or Nike : Nike.
Lipton Tea or Nestea : ICE LEMON TEA … lipton also can , Nestea also can
Chocolate or Vanilla : Choco … but not choco ice cream
Cappucino or Coffee : ICE LEMON TEA

Layer FIVE
Do you smoke : of course I do …………………………….NOT
Curse : dun know any spells … wanna teach me some ?
Take a shower : u say le ?
Have a crush : currently I have on ICE LEMON TEA
Think you've been in love : : ) yeah
Go to school : I did …
Want to get married : I hope too
Believe in yourself : I think my frens have more faith in me than I have in myself
Think you're a health freak : I doubt it … ice lemon tea , coconut shake is too good not to take

Layer SIX : In the past month
Drank alcohol : Yuppers … last ppl I drank with was eddie and my cousin last week , a day before Youth Quake
Gone to the mall : yuppers , Christmas shopping
Been on stage : yuppers …
Eaten sushi : yuppers … going for it again end of this week for mom’s birthday
Dyed your hair : yuppers … a few times I think to cover up the white hair I have on the right side of my head… hehe

Layer SEVEN : Have you ever?
Played a stripping game : not yet.
Changed who you were to fit in : I agree with wat ‘superman says on this matter’ – “Whoever says no is lying. We fit into different things all the time whether we realize it or not.”

Layer EIGHT :
Age you're hoping to get married : somewhere between XX to XX …

Layer NINE : In a guy
Best eye colour : does it matter?
Best hair colour : does it matter?
Long or short hair : does it matter?

Layer TEN : What were you doing....
1 minute ago : i was thinking of how to answer “Changed who you were to fit in”
1 hour ago : I was in the zoo , looking for the exit
4.5 hours ago : In the zoo , looking for my long lost cousins
1 month ago : working a ass off
1 year ago : thinking of wat will happen a year from now

Layer ELEVEN : Finish the sentence
I love : ICE LEMON TEA
I feel : like I am on top of the world
I hate : you … NOT
I hide : all my ice lemon teas , away from ppl who wan to take it away from me
I miss : you
I need : Him

*

2006-11-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

2006-11-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

introducing ....

me silly dog

...sleeping dog , turtle style ...

2006-11-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

what makes you believe what you believe in ?

what is believe ?

what makes you trust ?

what is trust ?

what makes you believe what you believe in?

what do you believe in ?

what makes you trust?

who do u trust ?

would you believe me if i told you ...

2006-10-29T23:23:00.000+08:00

would you believe me ...

... if you take a spaghetti,
bend it like in the picture and break it ...
... it will break into 3 pieces...

would you believe me ?

2006-10-28T21:00:00.000+08:00

coming soon

the 'jo i am going to kill u' post 3

2006-10-27T00:35:00.000+08:00

Backwards

terlum gonud aet citik ...

...yssem os eb dluow sgniht

?sdrawkcab gnihtyreve daer ot dah ew

fi neppah dluow tahw

rednow revE

i blame this on eddie

2006-10-25T15:48:00.000+08:00

this is for real " the i got nothing to do post"

time: 2.47

status: hungry , bored and wanting my ice lemon tea ...

the plan : goodness knows wat ... maybe take over the world ...

2006-10-21T13:19:00.000+08:00

the "jo i m going to kill you post" 2

2006-10-09T21:26:00.000+08:00

Would you believe me ...

... if i told you ...

that the earth was round ?

would you belive me ?

2006-10-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

oooooh... this is how it works ...

"Because I'm feeling so "free", I'll do the following...

I''ll respond with something random about you.
I'll challenge you to try something.
I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
I'll tell you something I like about you.
I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
If I do this for you, you must re-post this on your blog.

... If you comment on this post."

tis is wat fik siad about me ...

To Jo: I do that for you. Here it is:

1) I like your sincerity. No, my bad...I love your sincerity, and your willingness to go out of your way for people. Not enough good people around like you. I mean that.
2) Go without ice lemon tea for one month. Hah!
3) Orangey-brown. I wonder why... :>
4) Your sincerity. See number one, actually.
5) Hanging out with me in the M Lab just to keep me company. Again, see number one. Perfect example.
6) Camel. Can store the ice lemon tea in your humps :>
7) How come you are one of the nicest people I've met?

2006-10-06T22:09:00.000+08:00

coming soon

the 'jo i am going to kill u' post 2

ps: susie , i just notice i spelled ur name wrongly on the "you got tag 3 " post ... hehehe

2006-10-03T22:57:00.000+08:00

ice lemon tea no more

eddie , ur plan to ask my parents to hide and lock the ice lemon tea away from me didn;t really work out ... hehehe ...

behold the last and final packet of ice lemon tea ...

and now behold ... ice lemon tea ... no more ...

cool trick huh , ain't i good or ain't i good ? ...

heee ...

2006-09-30T15:05:00.000+08:00

u got tag 3 ...

suise khoo tagged me ...

the great music shuffle

The requirements:

1. Put your music player on shuffle
2. Press forward for each question

3. Use the song title as the answer to the question (but it seems you can insert lyrics from the song if you want lah... in addition to the title...so if it's suitable, just go ahead lah)

4. NO CHEATING!!!

1. How am i feeling today?

irish - ann murray - AMAZING GRACE

amazing grace , how sweet the sound , that saved a wretch like me

i once was lost , but now am found

was blind but now i see ...

comment : simply amazing ...

2. where do i want to get married ?

john lenon and paul mccartney - REVOLUTION

comment : no idea wat part of the lyrics it is and no idea where i am going to get married but i reckon when i do i am going to start a REVOLUTION ... woo hoo ... not bad eh ?

3. what is my best friend's theme song?

stacey kent - what the world needs

comment : LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

4. what was high school like ?

josh groban - u raise me up

comment : not too sure wat that song has to do with high school , but maybe for eddie it means something cos he got raised to a flag pole before ... hehehe

5. what is the best thing about me?

stacey kent - let yourself go

comment : let go of wat ...hmmm... how would i know wat is the best thing about me ... i am just me ...

6. how is today going to be?

Guang Liang - Tian Tang ( it means heaven or something like that i think)

Qian zhao ni zai tian kong fei xiang

Zhe yang kan shi jie bu yi yang

You le ni zai shen pang xiao de lian pang

comment : ummmm ... its going to be a good day ? ... hehehe

7. what is install for this week ?

the crosswinds - You are the answer

comment : the answer is above ...

8. what song describe my parents ?

stacey kent - i won't dance

comment : h ahaha i can so hear my dad saying it ... h eheheh

9, how is my life going ?

Diana Krall- let's fall in love

comment : okie dokes

10. what song will be played at my furneral ?

this is really good ...

natalie grant - finally hone

Where I can walk,
Where I can run,
Where my heart sings,
And I feel the sun,
Where I can trust,
And I'm strong enough,
Free like the wind,
I'll run into my Father's arms,
I'm finally home!

comment : ... i am home ...

11. how the world sees me ?

natalie grant - the real me

Foolish heart, looks like we're here again.
Same old game of plastic smile,
Don't let anybody in.
Hiding my heartache,
Will this glass house break?
How much will they take before I'm empty?
Do I let it show?
Does anybody know?

comment : i hav no idea wat to say ... actually the whole song is so true ... but is tat how the world sees me , me dun know ...

12. what do my frens really think of me ?

micheal buble - crazy thing call love

comment : goodness me ...

13. do people secretly lust after me?

avalon - testify to love

comment : this is getting really crazy ...

14. how can i make myself happy ?

stacey kent and tomlinson- so nice

comment : actually this is a very simple question and many of u know the answer already ... hehehe ...

15. what should i do with my life ?

stacey kent - when your lover is gone

comment : i think i need to get more songs in I-tunes ... hahaha

16. Will i ever have children ?

Celtic Irish - Lord of the Dance

comment : dancing , i guess the answer is yes ?

17. what is some good advice ?

luther vandross - dance with my father

If I could get another chance,
Another walk, another dance with him,
I'd play a song that would never never end
How I'd love love love...
To dance with my father again.

comment : i think jo had this song on her blog also ... love this song ... my dad dun dance ( the above question) but still love this song.

18. what do i think my current theme song is?

gallen lo - at the threshold of an era

comment : hey ... thats no my theme song ... cos i'm leaving , on a jet plane dun know when i;ll be back again ... or someeeeeeeeeewhereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, over the rainbowwwwwwwwwwww ...

19. what does everyone think of my current life ?

faith hill - where are u christmas ?

comments : ummmm...

20. what type of style men do u like ?

stacey kent - under the blanket of blue ...

comments : did i mention i need more songs?

21. will you get married ?

neil diamond - sept morn

comments : so is that a yes or a no ?

22. what should i do with my love life ?

parachute - complete

comments : hmmm ...

23. where will u live?

geoff moore - if u could see wat i see

commets: this song is in the wrong place and wrong question ... bodoh la ...

24. what will your dying words be ?

neil diamond and barbara streisand - you don't bring me flowers anymore

comments: i doubt that will be my final words ...

25. when i am having sex i say ...

stacey kent - its autumn

comment: ummmmmm.... no comment

26. when i meet a guy/ lady for the first time , i say

stacy kent - isn't it a pity

comment : there goes my social life ... bye bye ... adios ...

27. when my parents are angry i say ..

save the last dance for me

comment : wats this post with dance and all ,

woo hoo ... i am done ...

ha ha

ha ha ha

ha ha ha ah

ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ah

ha ha ha

ha ha

2006-09-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

Heart Song 2

they say ... not the "when you meet the love of your life" line ... but they say ...

if you don't have anything good to say , don;t say it at all ... and it is true ...

not too sure wat i am doing here really , got tons on my mind, tons to write but it is just not coming out from my silly brains to my hands to type.

do i have anything good to say , i am not too sure ,

do i have anything to say , YES , but at the same time i got nothing to say also ...

i don't know i am confused ... hehehe ...

shu yi asked me once ... JO do u have tears in your friendship ... ( after i sent her the onion sms) hehehe ...

it got me thinking for awhile ... and i guess yes there are, most of the time it would always be my fault ... or it would have something to do with wat i did wrong and all ... and most of the times the tears would have been caused by me, myself and i . and my own tears in the relationship and friendship is my own doing i reckon.

which would make me think , wat if i didn't do this, what if i didn't say this and that , what if i did this , what would happen , would things be the same , would it change ... wat if , wat if wat ...

so many "wat if " in life ... i bet u can think of one wat if right now eh ? i reckon if given time , u can think of more ...

i seem to always get myself into trouble one , and i would bury myself deep inside that trouble till i cannot find a way out. everything would seem so dark. and there seems to be no hope wat so ever ... and how ever hard i try to get out of it , it doesn;t seem to work, it doesn't seem to happen.

everything seem hopeless ...

so wat can we do with the wat if's ... well nothing much ... unless someone can come up with a way to travel back in time , build a time machine ... there is nothing much we can do about it .

i wish something could be donw, i wish things were different ... i can wish for a lots of stuff in life , but will i get what i wish for ...

i wish things were back to wat it was before, before all the mess ... i wish i could , i wish it would...

i pray that it would ...

2006-08-31T00:08:00.000+08:00

the post 3

" if i had to choose between betraying my own country and betraying my friend, i hope i have the guts to betray my county'

E. M. Foster

2006-08-26T21:13:00.000+08:00

the " Jo i am going to kill you" post